Kia Speaks

I’ve Moved

2010-07-01T15:31:00.001-07:00

Guess what! As much as I HATE moving, me and my team have done just that! Check out our new home at www.kiaspeaks.wordpress.com. Eventually, I promise to move all of these old blogs over to WordPress, but until then, you can come here for the old and WordPress for the new! God's got great things in our future! I'm so excited; I'm about to burst! Keep reading, and keep replying! You guys give me life in ways I can't explain! Love you much!

---Kia

Top 5 Lessons Learned From the 2010 BET Awards

2010-06-30T17:59:00.001-07:00

Thanks for reading the first five lessons I learned from the BET Awards! Now for the top 5!

#5: When You Make a Comeback, Come Back Strong—From the opening of the show, Sunday night was undoubtedly the night of comebacks. Kanye made his first appearance since Deboing the mic from Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Awards. T.I. did his first post-prison performance. Usher is STILL trying to come back from the bad publicity he received doing his marriage…and divorce. Keyshia Cole did her first post-baby performance. Chris Brown finally got his name changed from Mr. Slap-a-Chick, and El Debarge climbed out of his hole to promote his new album. It was an awesome night to watch. Everyone sat on the edge of their seats anxiously waiting to be blown away by these comeback kids; however most of them could be described as mediocre at best!

When you make a comeback, you should absolutely, no questions asked, blow your audience out of the water. You should leave no room for naysayers to speak. Your comeback should be so fresh, on-point, and above everything you have ever done that you leave your audience speechless, gasping for air, and wanting more. While most of the comebacks were decent, only Chris Brown left his audience speechless. If I ever have to make a comeback, I want to do like you, Chris!

#4: Classics Never Die—The music industry has been struggling over the last decade not because of its lack of talent, but due the large number of artists who a chasing the quick buck associated with fades instead putting in the work to produce a classic. Sunday night was a night of classics: Deniece Williams, El Debarge, Michael Jackson, and Prince. Decades latter their music still moves crowds like they are on the top of the Billboard 100. I can't say Gucci's "Lemonade" will be doing the same.

As someone who has recommitted herself to her writing, I am going to focus on creating classic materials. Whether it's my blogs, books, short stories, plays, or scripts, I'm not going to thinking about what is popular and what is going to make me a quick dollar. I'm going to focus on creating timeless, master pieces that will be relevant for years on end. I want to be associated with the Maya Angelous and the Zora Neale Hurstons, not the Zanes.

#3: Everyone Respects a Master—If you're going to be a craftsman, you might as well master that bad boy. Prince and Michael Jackson are two musicians who worked hard and mastered their crafts, and whether you like or even respect them as people, you have no choice but to respect their mastery. I can only imagine what it's like to walk in a room and have the respect of everyone: fans, peers, enemies, and haters. AMAZING! Good enough should no longer be acceptable. Everything associated with your name should be stamped with excellence…nothing less!

#2: Always Give 100% Effort—BET SUCKS as a network. They put in minimum effort and expect great results. That's not logical—and it has turned a large number of people off from the network altogether. This is unfortunate…and similar to the boy who cried wolf, because when we you actually put in 100% effort and produce a quality product everyone assumes that your product still sucks and no one wants to give it the time of day.

This year, BET produced a quality award show. It was by far the best awards show in the network's history. However, a large number of people who would've enjoyed this show missed out because they assumed it would suck like the shows of the past. You only have one time to show your audience your best work. Make sure you do that each and every time.

#1: God Redeems You in His Own Time—To say the last year and a half have been rough for Chris Brown would be an understatement. After pleading guilty to assaulting his girlfriend, Rihanna, Chris has watched his life and career crumble in front of him. Even after making numerous attempts to amend his wrong doing, it appeared that Chris had been blackballed from the industry with no chance of regaining his place in the music business. However, God sees all and redeems us of our pain and suffering.

While onstage Sunday night, God redeem Chris Brown of all he has suffered through over the past year and a half. God didn't even care that the pain and suffering was due to Chris' own bad actions. When you truly seek His face and forgiveness, He will publicly redeem you in a way that no man can stop. While many may debate what occurred on that stage, I'm confident in what I saw. I saw an individual who was genuinely remorseful for the mistakes he'd made and sincerely grateful to be given a second chance by God and to be accepted by his industry again. No matter what you've done, no matter who won't forgive you, no matter who is keeping you out, stay faithful and prayerful. The God of redemption will redeem you in His own time, and when you, and your haters, least expect it.

Life Lesson Learned via the 2010 BET Awards

2010-06-29T04:03:00.001-07:00

I usually watch the BET Awards so that I can enjoy a little coonery with my friends via Twitter and Facebook. But this year was different. When I finally laid my head down around midnight, I had grown as a person, and I had BET to thank! No joke! Before you write me off as a loon, hear me out, and give my Top 10 lessons a chance.

#10: It is Important to Respect the Seasons—The Bible lays it out plain and clear, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1). And what the BET Awards pointed out is you will look a CRAZY running around acting out of season. I'm not too sure what Drake's stylist was thinking when she sent him down the red carpet in leather jacket in June or what Soldier Boy's stylist was smoking when she had him perform outside in a cardigan, but both Drake and Soldier Boy looked loony in mid-summer dressed in their fall and winter attire.

This made me think about how many times I had tried to act outside of God's timing or seasons. Like the time I was convinced I was going to marry this guy, but it couldn't have been God's season because neither of us were comfortable enough with ourselves to commit forever to someone else. Or the time I kept searching for a huge harvest (financial blessing), but I hadn't done a significant amount of labor. In both of these situations, I must've looked just as crazy as Drake and Soldier Boy. From this point forward, I'm going to make an effort to understand God's timing and seasons, so that I can work with Him and not against Him. Nothing productive can come from going against God's grain, but supernatural things can happen when you work with Him! J

#9: We Must Grow Past Our Human Complexities—How odd was it to see women waving panties at Tyrese in one set immediately followed by gospel greats performing a tribute to Haiti? It seemed a little out of order. A number of my Twitter friends pointed out that the producers at BET should've done better planning to ensure that a smoother, more respectable, segue could've been implemented. But how often do we, in our lives, do things that are similarly out of order. How often have you lied before you prayed, cursed someone out before going to church, or been stingy and selfish before telling God how much we loved Him?

We use the phrases that "God knows my heart," or "No one's perfect; everyone sins" as our excuses to have sin and out of order behavior in our life. In reality, that's just not good enough. While sin and mistakes are a natural part of life, as people who are completely in love with we should do everything in our power to live sin free and seek God's forgiveness when the complexities of life do cause us to fall below the mark of God.

#8: Good Writers Are ALWAYS Needed—Writing is my passion and my craft; however, recently, I have not been doing as much writing as I should. Watching the BET Awards showed me the necessity of having good writers. Some of those skits were utter fails and painful to watch. We all deserve to have good television, and my work deserves to grace bookshelves, televisions sets, and movie screens. I must IMMEDIATELY stop playing around with my God-given gifts, and further develop them so that I can become the great writer God desires me to be, I deserve to be, and the world deserves to read and see.

I encourage all of you to respect your God-given gifts and talents. He didn't give them to you to for them to sit stagnant. In fact according to the Parable of Talents that Jesus told in Matthew 25: 14-28, if we do not use our gifts to glorify God, He will take them away from us. The world needs what God has placed in you. Make sure you grow and develop your gifts to a level of expertise where you are prepared to share them with the world. Someone needs what you have; make sure you give it to them. J

#7: Less is Sometimes More—Monica is a BAD CHICK! Love her, respect her, admire her! But WHAT was she wearing during her performance? I thought she was doing some type of skit that required her to be a demonic angel based on the size of her shoulder pads (or whatever you called those things). I'm sure she thought wearing that outfit was a great idea in her dressing room, but the elaborativeness of the attire somehow got lost.

Lesson learned: sometimes less is more. Drake has hyped you guys up thinking everything has to be fancy, huh? Everything does not have to be big, fancy, and extravagant to get your point across. Sometimes simple is good enough! Follow your gut and don't draw excess attention or you may end up looking like Nicki Minaj, a complete attention whore. I'm just saying.

#6: Don't Insult the People that Help You Be Great—Did anyone see Diddy, Filthy Change (sorry, that was sooooo unnecessary J! Shouts out to @christopherbw for coining the phrase. Follow him on Twitter. Pure entertainment!), and crew completely suffocate in the fog during their performance? It looked like a performance failure, but if you watched the after show, you have a better understanding of why there was sooooo much fog. During rehearsal Diddy complained about there not being enough fog during their performance. He went as far as to insult the fog tech mocking that BET didn't have enough money to produce the amount of fog he needed. So once they hit the stage Sunday night, the fog tech decided to really SHOW Diddy how much fog BET could really produce! Diddy wanted to give a great performance, but he forgot that he couldn't be great by himself. He needed the people working with him to help him be great so that he could reach his goal of greatness. Unfortunately, he forgot to build up those around him.

In order for the people working with you to put 100% into helping you reach greatness, they must be completely invested in your greatness. They must believe in your vision, and they must want to see it happen as much as you do. This does not occur when you are overly critical or harsh towards those working with you. And it doesn't happen because you write someone a big check. However, if you pray for divine connections and focus on building up those working with you and helping them become great, they will bust their tail to make sure that you reach your standard of greatness as well.

Log in tomorrow to see the Top 5 Lessons Learned from the BET Awards!

Thirstdays Fulfilled: First I Had the Tickets...Then They Were Gone

2010-04-14T18:47:00.001-07:00

On Sunday, I learned an amazing and painful lesson.

Every Sunday after church I turn to Bubby Love & DJ Herb's old school mix on V103 in Atlanta. This week they just so happen to be giving away tickets to an upcoming Maxwell & Erykah Badu concert. I immediately called not once, not twice, but 28 times. And on the 28th time, the phone actually rang. Bubby Love picked up and after jesting with me for a while, he placed me on hold.

I HAD WON THE TICKETS!!!!! I was so nervous! My hands were shaking! My heart was pounding. And my body was beginning to be covered with sweat.

Suddenly random thoughts began to pour into my mind. "What if this call drops? What if I accidently end the call?" I was so scared. I started thinking about what I could do to prevent this call from ending. I was focusing all this energy on things going wrong, when I should have been living in the moment and enjoying the NOW (me winning the tickets)! And before I knew it, all that negative energy I was creating manifested!!! In an effort to prevent accidently hanging up the call, I pressed my screen lock button and…yeah, you guessed it, I hung up the phone.

My heart dropped, and my stomach became one huge, unbearable knot. “HOW COULD I BE SOOOOOO STUPID?!?!?!” I thought. I had just caused myself to lose out on the one thing that I truly and completely wanted at that moment. I was disgusted with myself and utterly embarrassed! But in my hurt, pain, and anger, I sat quietly and thought.

While I was sitting in awe and silence, I remembered the words to a gospel song I would always sang when getting what I wanted was difficult. “What God has for me it is for me.” Those words were supposed to comfort me, but instead, I heard a voice that said, “It WAS for you! I gave it to you, and YOU messed it up. Stop trying to hold on to and keep from losing what I have given you. Once it’s yours, it’s yours! No one can take it out of your hands but me…or you!”

In that moment I realized that I didn’t want to EVER feel that way or be in that situation again. I had lost out on an amazing opportunity because of my own foolishness. Because I was trying to keep from losing what He had given to me. I could’ve handled losing this opportunity because someone was better than me or even because someone had manipulated me, but no. No one tricked me out of this opportunity. No one caused chaos or conflict. I, alone, messed up what I wanted. And that left me feeling foolish with no one to blame but myself.

After getting the lesson, part of me was still upset, but more of me was appreciative. Hebrews 12:6 says, “…the Lord disciplines those he loves…” Clearly, God had just whipped my butt to teach me a lesson, so He MUST love me. I knew I needed that lesson. God is opening doors of opportunity for me, and if I’m going to successfully walk through them I must be confident that what He’s giving me is mine. I mustn’t spend time fighting to get or keep what has been freely given to me by my Father. I just need to enjoy the benefits of being His child.

At the end of the day, I’m just glad the only thing I had to lose in order to learn this lesson is a couple of concert tickets. At the end of the day, it could’ve been much worse. Because of this loss, God has changed my mindset and ensured that I will do whatever is necessary to make sure I am prepared for the opportunities He is placing before me. The last thing I need is to walk to a door that God has opened for me only to have it slammed in my face because I wasn’t prepared. I can’t have another loss due to my own foolishness. I want all He has for me, and I’m determined to be ready to receive it! Yeah, I may have lost the tickets, but I learned an amazing lesson. And if I’m lucky one of you will know Bubby Love or someone at V103 who can hook a sister up! 

Oh yeah, be careful of the energy you put into the atmosphere. It will come back to you! Make sure what’s coming back is the positivity you want and need in your life.

Kiely Williams is “Spectacular”…or Maybe Not

2010-04-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

Kiely Williams, best known for her role as Aquanetta Walker in Disney’s The Cheetah Girls and as part of the R&B group 3LW, is embarking on a new solo career, and she’s making sure you take notice. On April 5th, she released a video for her single “Spectacular” on YouTube, and it definitely had the Internets go nuts!

“Spectacular’s” racy lyrics, sexually video, along with Kiely’s suggestive dance moves had nearly everyone watching giving Kiely either a side eye or a blank stare. Written by Young Money’s Shanell, the song tells the story of a woman who gets wasted at the bar with a stranger before going back to his place for some good ole unprotected sex!

The video opens with Kiely parading down the streets in an outfit only a bad transvestite prostitute would wear and singing (or talking in my opinion *Kanye shrug*):

Last I remember I was face down, ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off!
Even though I’m not sure of his name he could get it again if he wanted…cause the sex was spectacular!

Trashy, huh? Almost immediately, Kiely began to receive criticism for promoting promiscuity and unprotected sexual adventures. She defended herself in a statement posted on her KielyTV YouTube page that read:

The fact is, that sometimes women get intoxicated and have unprotected sex. My video puts this issue front and center. It is absurd to infer or suggest that I am condoning this behavior. Are Lady Gaga and Beyonce advocating murder with the Telephone video? Of, course not. Was Rihanna encouraging suicide with Russian Roulette? No. Was Madonna suggesting that young unmarried girls get pregnant with Papa Dont Preach? I dont think so. Is Academy Award winner Monique a proponent of incest because of her portrayal of Mary in the movie Precious. Clearly, the answer is no.

I wrote Spectacular and made the video to bring attention to a serious womens health and safety issue. Dont shoot the messenger." (Posted as written—errors and all)

There are a five reasons Kiely’s video didn’t work and her statement didn’t go.

1) You’re not a proven artist. I’m sorry, but there’s a difference between a performer and an artist. Everyone who Kiely named is an award-winning artist with successful singles and chart-topping albums. Kiely has none of these. When you are an artist, you are able to push society’s limits and people accept it as art. When you’re not an artist people just call you an attention whore and keep it moving.

2) “Spectacular” lacked artistic features. I define art as the creative interpretation of life. Nothing about “Spectacular”, the song or video, lived up to this definition. The concept, the lyrics, and the video itself lacked the uniqueness and creativity to be called art. You could walk in any neighborhood bar and see Kiely’s version of art taking place nightly. Basically, I’m saying “Spectacular” wasn’t artistic; it was trashy!

3) Her response was disingenuous. Let’s be real. When this song and video were being conceptualized, no one was thinking about making a statement on the dangers of unprotected sex and promiscuity! Seriously, since when has Shanell been known for writing public service announcements (insert side eye here)? Kiely wanted to shock the world and prove that she was a grown-up! That she did. It just didn’t get the positive response she wanted. Next time you want to make a statement about the dangers of one-night stands, write a song about a woman suffering from the burn of gonorrhea and have her take the walk of shame into the free clinic. At least put an explanation at the end so that your less perspective viewers understand what you’re doing.

4) You were a DISNEY star!!! I’m sorry but you can’t go from being a child star to a porn star sex symbol over night. The kiddies who once idolized you are still looking for goodness sakes! All child stars that have had successful careers as adults have been gradually ushered into their adult/sexier personas. I mean seriously, I always knew Aquanetta was a little hood, but I don’t want to see her in porn.

5) Get a better casting director! If you’re going to put out a hypersexual video at least have a leading man who is sexy!!! Give us someone we can fantasize about! The casting director would’ve been better off choosing Pretty Rick’s Spectacular than dude in the video. At least we know Spectacular has moves!!! Dude in the video didn’t have an ounce of sex appeal! MAJOR FAIL!

There are three main reasons Erykah Badu can do a strip tease in a public park and no one write it off as trashy, Kiely. 1) She’s an artist. 2) She explained the meaning to the slow folks. 3) And she looked good doing it…not like a trashy transvestite. If you want to be an artist, Kiely, you have to step your game up…and learn how to stand by your art when no one else believes in it.

Check out the video below and let me know what you think.

Sorry, God :-(

2010-03-26T16:00:00.001-07:00

Last night I had a dream. Anyone who knows me knows that my dreams are somewhat clairvoyant, so whenever I have one, I automatically analyze it.

Last night, I dreamt I was pregnant…VERY PREGNANT! I was like 9 months pregnant, and it was time for me to give birth. There was only one problem, I wasn't ready to give birth. While I was 9 months pregnant, my baby was only 6 months developed, so while I was pushing, nothing was coming out. I was just in pointless pain.

I woke up with a really nagging and negative feeling. I knew I wasn't physically pregnant, but I also knew that dream was a message from God.

I've been slacking on my purpose. I know exactly what God has called me to do; however, I've been doing an awful job of actually working in my purpose. I'm actually extremely embarrassed to even type that. Now is the time…the time for me to birth something great into this world, and I can't do it because I'm not properly prepared. I haven't put in the work to produce the greatness God wants to birth through me.

I desire a lot of great things, so it's utterly embarrassing to have the opportunity to produce one of those great things, but I can't because I have failed to do what I was supposed to do. Never should God be ready to give me something so great, and He can't because I've screwed up.

UGH!!! It's so frustrating, on top of being embarrassing. So many questions are going through my head: what if I never get another chance? What if God completely leaves me alone? What if I'm stuck going around this mountain 7 more times? I just want to scream! Can you believe the mess I've created?!?!

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor gave me the formula for fixing a mess.

Step 1: Acknowledge that you are in a mess. So often we mistake faith for ignoring reality and speaking a bunch of spiritual talk. However, faith is actually being capable of acknowledging your situation and still speaking God's Word into existence, despite how bad it may look.

Step 2: Pray the Word. Hebrews 4:12 says: "For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow…" God's Word has the power to penetrate your mess at its core, heal you, and fix that mess.

Step 3: Keep the faith while God does His work. God may not choose to clean up your mess overnight, and it's not your job to create a timetable for God. However, it IS your job to stand in faith and keep believing no matter how long it takes God to fix your mess.

So you are now witnesses as I go on the journey of fixing my self-perpetuated mess. Stand with me, hold me accountable, and keep me believing. Please and thank you!

Dear John: A Letter to My Ex!!!

2010-02-15T19:15:00.001-08:00

So yesterday was Valentine's Day, or as a close friend calls it, the Red Death. And unlike a majority of the single women I know, Valentine's weekend was an awesome one for me. I found that this Valentine's weekend was the first one in a long time where I did not find myself stressed about being single, about being without a date, or about him not getting or doing what I wanted. I found myself in a calm, collective, and reflective space that I thoroughly enjoyed. I wasn't jealous or resentful of those in love and enjoying themselves around me. I didn't feel out of place dateless at the V-Day dinner. And I was able to see how much I've grown as my pastor taught on love Sunday morning. For the first time…EVER…I was content with my singleness (thanks VB) on V-Day.

Thinking about how much I've grown, caused me to think back to the relationship that forced me to grow up! And when I say forced, I mean FORCED!!! For me, it was either grow up and be happy or stay stagnate and miserable. With an eternally thankful heart and inspiration from my Twitter fam (#lettertomyex) and the movie Dear John , I decided to write my own Dear John thank you letter. Of course the names have been changed to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent) ;-) ! Wanna read it? Here you go!

Dear John,

It's been a long time since we've spoken. But you crossed my mind this Valentine's Day! I was thinking back on our relationship (or lack thereof) and decided to write you a thank you note. I know you probably expected me to be upset, angry, or bitter…especially once I stopped answering your phone calls, but honestly, I'm not. The only word to describe my feelings towards you is grateful!!!

I've heard a couple of my girlfriends complain about being frustrated about another girl benefiting from everything they taught their exes. It's nothing more disturbing than another woman reaping the reward of what you taught a man. In the words of Beyonce in "Ring the Alarm," "She gon' profit everything I taught, if I let you go." Well, that's how you should feel right about now cause my next one is gonna have one helluva a good, Godly woman on his arms! J

You see, you put me through relationship HELL! I'm not sure if this was done purposely and vindictively or simply because you were too immature, selfish, and self-centered to say what you really wanted and risk losing my love and the benefits of it. But somehow, by the grace of God, I endured the hell you created for me and thrived.

See, the hell you created was the fire I needed to cultivate me into the poised, well-developed, loving and spiritually woman who stands before you. That coal you met is now becoming a flawless diamond. Because you forced me to begin becoming the woman I always wanted to be, I owe you an eternal THANK YOU…for teaching me these 8 lessons.

Trust God! You were the beginning of my Valley. And that Valley got so dark there were times I didn't think I would come out alive. But in my pain, I grabbed hold to God and clung for dear life. Through this pain, I learned who God really is. I experienced God as my Comforter, my Provider, my Healer, my Savior, my Deliver, and the Eternal Lover of my soul. I love the relationship I now have with God, and I thank you for causing the pain that initiated it!
Unconditional love is a decision! Before you, love was an emotion to me. But through my journey with you, I learned that love is a decision…especially on the bad days. All lifelong relationships require unconditional love. Which means no matter how I feel, no matter what he's done, no matter what is going on, I wake up and DECIDE to LOVE! I did that everyday for 3 years with you. And one thing I now know, if I could love you—someone who didn't deserve my love, I most definitely will be able to decide to love the one who is deciding to love me back.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23)! Before you, I opened my heart up to individuals too easily. After you I've learned that not everyone deserves a place in my heart. At the end of the day I learned, you can do all the right things for the wrong person and still end up with an UBERFAIL!!! Next time a man gets that much of me, he WILL be the right one!

The Law of Attraction will slap you in the face. I attract what I put into the universe! If I want a whole and complete man, I must become whole and complete woman. Yes, I've called you childish, immature, selfish, and self-centered, but to be honest, I was too. All of my insecurities, I saw in you. I don't want to be in a relationship with the insecure and miserable Kia. I want to be with a whole and happy individual.

Believe people when they show or tell me who they are. Had I really listened to you when you spoke early on, I never would've had to endure so much pain. I would've realized that you were someone I really couldn't love long term. We just didn't see eye-to-eye on most things—money, kids, church, life! And like so many women, before and after me, I thought I could change your mind. I thought once you loved me enough, you would see things my way. Woomp, woomp! That didn't work at all! LOL!!!

Love gives; lust takes! I loved you, and you lusted for me. I gave you my heart, soul, and worldly possession and all you did was ask for more. When one's giving and the other's taking, the giver's going to be constantly empty, and the receiver is going to be overflowing. However if I'm giving, and my lover's giving, both of us will be happy and overflowing! J Will only love a giver in the future!

I DESERVE THE WORLD AND WON'T SETTLE FOR LESS! In hindsight, the fact that I thought I could spend my life with you disturbs me because I was settling for someone who half loved me, half cared for me, and half provided what I needed. And I think I'm giving you bonus points in most of these areas, lol. What I now know is I deserve to be adored. I deserve a man who will work hard to give me the world. And I'm not settling for anything less than that.

Once God delivers you, don't go back! Every now and then you left only to come back when it was convenient for you. Each time I would embrace you and love you…until the last time you came back. By then, God had healed me and delivered me from the drama that was our relationship. My life was joyful and drama-free, and I wasn't willing to go backwards. No hard feelings, but once God said it was over, it was over. Luke 11:24-26 says, "When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest; and finding none he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first." No offense, but you were that unclean spirit, and I couldn't risk you coming back with 7 times the drama and dragging me in a valley 7 times deeper than the first. No hard feelings, right?

I hope you understand that this letter wasn't to bash you. We all make mistakes, and I don't blame you! It was a growing experience for me, and I hope for you as well. Keep living, keep striving, and keep thriving. And thanks for coming into life, causing hell, and forcing me to become a woman my husband will be proud of. In the words of Uncle Curtis, "Love you!" LOL.

Kia

Rihanna's "Rude Boy"

2010-02-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

I am NOT a Rihanna fan! But I'm really feeling her new single, "Rude Boy". It's a very catchy track accompanied my a colorful video. It's good to see something other than the dark and depressive Rihanna. Check out the video here and let me know what you think.

So, Back to Vision Boards

2010-01-16T22:20:00.001-08:00

So, back to vision boards…yeah, I told you they were the greatest. I since I posted the last blog a week ago, I have continued to see my visions for my life come to fruition. I can't explain how awesome this feels. I'm eternally grateful to God for all He's done over the past 16 days to make 2010 the greatest, most productive year of my life. There are no words…(but I guess I should find some if I'm going to keep blogging J).

I want your vision boards to be as successful as for you as mine has been for me, so here are a few pointers:

Attach Scripture to Your Vision—Psalms 138:2 says it all: "For You have magnified Your word above all Your name." God's word is everything to Him. It's binding, it's true, and it must come to pass. So if you want your vision board to come to fruition, attached scripture (God's word) to each vision. In fact the whole idea of a vision board is connected to scripture. Habakkuk 2:2-3 reads: "Then the LORD answered me and said: 'Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.'" God's vision, when written, gives you the inspiration to stay focused and keep working until the vision comes to pass. Remember, He cannot fail, and He will not fail you.

Speak, Pray, and Focus On Your Vision-- Proverbs 18:21 states that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Uses your vision board as a reminder to make positive affirmations (say good things) over your vision. Be prayerful and seek God's guidance in bringing your vision to pass. And focus your time and attention on completing tasks that will transform your vision into reality.

Study the Law of Attraction (LOA)--To sum up the Law of Attraction, you bring to you the things that you concentrate or focus on. You think about being in debt, and you will continue to be in debt. You focus on remaining single, and you will continue to be single. If you are consumed by your failures, you will continue to fail and be miserable. However if you concentrate on success, success will come to you. Here's the thing about the law of attraction, you're going to have to stop concentrating on some things. You see the law of attraction works all the time, not just on those things you want it to work on. Learning this was hard for me. There are some music, movies, and books that I can no longer be bothered with because I don't want that crap in my life. If you want a better understanding of the Law of Attraction, check out The Secret. From what I've studied, the Law of Attraction lines up with my spiritual beliefs and what is written in scripture. Fact about me: if it's not scriptural, I don't need it.

Don't Do It Alone—Call up your friends, order some food, and make a party out of creating your vision board. Doing so gives you the opportunity to socialize with likeminded individuals, share your vision for the future, and provides you with accountability partners—individuals who will hold you accountable for doing your part to make sure your vision comes to pass. If you don't have anyone to hold you accountable, you are more likely to slack on your responsibility in make your vision reality. Accountability is good. Never fear it.

I hope these pointers help your visions come to fruition like mine has been becoming. I'm sure 2010 is going to be the greatest year of my life. Let's make it the greatest year of your life as well.

Write the Vision Make It Plain

2010-01-08T15:53:00.001-08:00

A few years ago when I was working with New Birth's Teen Parent Ministry, we did an activity where we were suppose to visualize the life we wanted, cut out pictures that reflected that life, and glue them to a large sheet of construction paper. This construction paper was supposed to be our inspiration to create the life we wanted. That one activity took me to Habakkuk 2:2 which reads: "Write the vision, and make it plain…" This board was my vision. I was making it plain so that God could add His super to my natural and manifest it.

It wasn't until around November 2009 that I learned that others were also building these boards. As I was tweeting, I learned that @ninabrown and her friends would get together and have vision board parties. These events consisted of them gathering with poster boards, magazines, scissors, and glue sticks to cut and paste images that envisioned their future. Once I saw Nina's twitpics, I was reminded of the vision board I had done before and began planning to complete another one just in time for my 28^th birthday. And while I went through the process of cutting out a number of images, I never got around to pasting them on a poster board. Instead they were placed in a bag where they would stay for the next 2 months.

Over the next two months, God really begin to perfect the vision I had for my life. I became less caught up on the stuff (i.e. Black Range Rover, big house, expensive jewelry, designer shoes) I had always imagined having and more focused on my purpose in this world. My priority switched to what God wanted me to give back to Him and this world, both which had given so much to me. By this time I learned that Nina Brown was hosting a citywide Vision Board Brunch at Justin's on New Year's Morning. This furthered inspired me to place my newfound vision on card board. And while I wasn't able to make the Vision Board Brunch, I was able to sponsor my own with my son. J

So when I awoke on New Years' morning and begin putting my vision board together with my son, a number of the images I cut out in November were no longer relevant to my life. Yes, I still wanted the Tiffany jewelry, the BMW, and the living room furniture…BUT it wasn't my priority for 2010. For me, 2010 was an opportunity to focus on things that would bring me lifelong happiness not temporary happiness. It was my opportunity to focus on rebuilding and improving my relationship with my God, my Father, my Creator, my Everything. It was my opportunity to become a better mother who was more in tuned to my son's needs. It was my opportunity to stop being petty and correct relationships with family and friends that had gone astray over the years. It was my opportunity to make myself a better, healthier, more fit, and more beautiful me. It was my opportunity to enjoy the NOW I was living in, which included my home, my singleness, and my financial situation, no matter how improved I wanted them to be in the future. It was my opportunity to use my God-give gifts and talents inspire and change the world I live in.

Since New Year's morning, my vision board has been sitting in my living room. Every day I walk by it and see my interpretation of God's vision for my life. Every day I see that vision board three things happen: 1) I am inspired to work harder toward the things on the board, 2) I am reminded to focus my prayers toward the things on that board, 3) and in spite of how bad things are going that day, I am reminded of the greatness of my future. And that gives me the strength to work through the hard times.

Everyone should create a vision board. It does great things as far as organizing and focusing in on your purpose and goals. Plus, once the vision comes into fruition, it provides a visual check list of all the things God has accomplished through you and for you.

Over the next month, I'm going to post how-to blogs on creating your vision board and hosting your own vision board brunch. By the end of this month, everyone reading should have their vision boards completed, and once you do, please send pictures to kiaspeaks@gmail.com.

I can't wait to see your vision come into fruition.

Relationships

2009-12-29T18:35:00.001-08:00

CALM DOWN!!! I'm not about to give you any advice à la
Steve Harvey. But I have been spending a lot of time contemplating friendships and family relationships. We spend so much time trying to cultivate (read as manipulate) boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife relationships, that we often forget to invest in the relationships we have with others in our lives (i.e. friends, family, and God).

I was junior varsity (JV) cheerleading coach at my school this year (it will take an act of God to get me to do it again, but that's neither here nor thereJ). The year started out great! The JV and Varsity squads were practicing together, and they often had family circles where they would talk, cry, and declare their love and sisterhood for each other. Sisterhood is a strong word, and I was actually impressed with these girls committing so much to each other. But as you can guess, that soon came to an end. Before long they were arguing about who was riding with who to get foods before ball games, why JV was cheering with Varsity at games, and which squad was the best. Everyone in the school was talking about these chicks and their fights! Their dreams of sisterhood had been flushed down the toilet, but why?

It became apparent to me that these girls wanted something, but they were not willing to work for it…AT ALL!!! All relationships require some sort of work and sacrifice. They wanted to be "sisters" but they didn't want to sacrifice, give to, or support their "sisters". Sisters sacrifice a little gas to make sure their sister has a meal before they have to cheer a 4 hour game. Sisters give from their overflow to ensure their sister is taken care of. Sisters support their sisters when they are going through tough times because they want to see them be great. They don't rejoice in their downfall.

At the end of the day, relationships are a two-way street. You have to give just as much (honestly more) than you expect to receive. If you are not going to give a quality relationship and/or friendship, then why would you expect to receive that from someone else.

That thought alone got me thinking about my family relationships, and when I thought of the ones that were the most difficult, it was clearly because people expected things from me that they weren't willing to give to me. You want me to respect your decisions as an adult, but you don't respect mine. In fact, you find every way possible demean and disrespect the adult decisions that I make. You want me to respect you as a mother, but you don't respect me as one, nor do you respect MY relationship with MY child. You want me to support you, but you constantly find joy in my downfalls and belittle what's important to me. You want me to be your friend; however, you don't give me ANY of the qualities I value in a friendship.

I love my family! I don't want you to doubt that at all! But being a part of my life by blood does not give you the right to be an active and intrigue part of my life. There are qualifications that I require: those being respect, support, and loyalty. If you can't give me that, then I don't need you in my life—blood or not.

The third relationship I was forced to examine was my relationship with God. I remember when I used to feel like God was ALWAYS with me. If I made the wrong move, I could feel Him tugging me back. When I was confused, I could hear His voice guiding me. And when I was lonely, He was there to comfort me. There was not a moment when I did not feel God.

However, recently, I haven't been feeling God like I used to. Now, I'm mature enough to know that God is ALWAYS with me rather I feel Him or not, but I missed feeling God with me 24-7. Missing my companionship with Him forced me to examine our relationship. Once I did, I noticed that God's side of the street was the same. He was still the same, unchanging God He had always been to me. However, my side of the street had changed. I was no longer meeting God first thing in the morning for our daily devotional time (I was tweeting instead L). My busy schedule had interrupted my church attendance. And family prayer time was sparse at best. I was basically expecting God to do what He always did while I was severely slacking on my end of the relationship. I was the one who interrupted my communion with God, and I was the one responsible for fixing it.

Seeing how my shortfalls in my relationship with God caused our relationship to change dramatically forced me to re-evaluate my relationship with friends, family, and students. What had I done to contribute to the "bad" relationships in my life? What had I NOT done that complicated those relationships? Had I always given what I expected to receive?

In many cases there had been years and years of hurt. So much that I really could've cared less about rectifying the relationship. In my mind, it was what it was. And I was satisfied with writing off the relationship(s) as one that would not be fruitful in my life. But after prayer and meditation, God guided me to try again. Give what I would like to be given and see what happens with the relationship. Worst case scenario, it stays the same. Oh well, I've done my part, so I can move on with a clear conscience. But with God involved I know it will get better. I just pray with every being in my soul that I can rid myself of my pride enough to allow what God has planned to developed. But because I'm God's girl, I know He has everything under His control.

Lessons Learned: Give what you expect to get, discard unhealthy relationships, and don't be afraid to let go of your pride and try again.

formspring.me

2009-12-22T08:50:00.001-08:00

What's the nicest thing someone's ever done for you?

Told me have a beautiful spirit! :-)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2009-12-22T08:49:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/kiaspeaks

In the Now

2009-12-12T14:14:00.001-08:00

So, three days ago I celebrated my 28^th birthday!!! I have officially drifted from my mid-20s into the late-20s. Hitting this junction in my life caused me to reminisce on the first time I really begin to plan out my life. It was spring 2004 (I was 22), and I was approaching college graduation.

As I began to prepare myself to enter the "real world", it was the first time I truly began to ponder what I truly wanted out of life. It was also at that point that I realized how far I was from the dreams I had dreamt for my life. Everything—the husband, the kids, and the dream job all seemed so far away that I literally spun into such a deep depression that I couldn't see my way out. On numerous occasions I honestly thought death would be easier than me climbing out of the deep, dark hole I was residing in.

After re-evaluating EVERYTHING I was doing in my life, re-vamping my relationship with God, and re-connecting with a body of believers (shout out New Birth Fam!), I was able to climb from the hole and find joy in life and living again (around 24)! In the midst of my new found joy of life, I also developed a plan. A plan I was sure God had divinely imparted to me and would quickly bless and prosper.

So for the next couple of years, I threw my all into this plan. Worked my assets off trying to make the vision I'd created, the one I felt was divinely imparted, come to pass. I was going to church 2 to 3 times a week, loving and giving the man I was supposed to marry my all, and working like a slave from my home-based business. And before I knew it (circa 26), I was lucky to make it to Sunday's 10:30am service on time, my future husband, yeah, he was engaged to someone else, and I was in debt up to my eyeballs due to my people refusing to pay me for my services. So here I was, broke with a broken heart and broken dreams to match. I could've spiraled right back into the black hole I'd called home 4 years earlier, but I didn't.

Over the past 4 years, I had really searched and figured out who God was and what He'd promised me. So even when it appeared that God was forsaking me, I knew enough about my God to know, He would never do that. I trusted Him when I couldn't trace Him and pressed. Eventually (26-27), I found myself teaching high school English and developing myself into the woman I'd always wanted to be.

So here I stand, 28 & 3 days old. My life is far from where I imagined it would be back at 22! I have no husband and no potential mate and only one of the 5 kids a dreamed of having. My Oprah-esque media empire is a lot of hard work from fruition. And I'm not living the "good life" I've been dreaming of since 2000. But I'm know I'm right where God wants me, and I'm loving every minute of my now.

I don't have a husband or a potential mate, but I love myself more than ever before. I love the strong, spiritual, determined, and caring woman I have grown into. And I also heart the fabulous, God-fearing diva that is emerging. By the time my husband arrives, he's going to have a true prize in his hands. And that, I take pride in.

And while I don't have my 5 biological kids, I do have 1 who is the greatest kid of all time, 9-10 kids who I love, pray for, and protect like they are mine own, around 20 kids who I mentor, and close to 350 students whose lives I have touched in some way, shape, or form. I live and breathe for these kids. They add value to my life.

I may not be the media giant I dreamed of becoming, but I am one of the few people I know of who LOVES the job I get up and go to every morning. I take pride in being an educator, and in being freaking good at it! Teaching literature is a means God set up that allows me to change kids' lives (no exaggeration). I love that He trusts me with so much, and I love that I'm effective. I also love that teaching gives me just enough off time to plot my media takeover and surprise the world. Oprah's leaving a void in 2011, and I'm trying to take it. You've been warned. J

Finally, I may not be living the "good life" of fabulous parties, lots of money, and fame that Kanye and T-Pain song about. But I am living the Good Life where all of my needs are met, all of my fears are subsided, and all of my burdens are cared for by someone bigger than myself. It's an amazing Life that only He could design (peep Jeremiah 1:15). It's wonderful, and you could have it too. But only if you want it.

Through the past 6½ years of struggle and joy, tears and laughter, agony and pleasure, I've learned one amazing lesson: live life in the now! Don't let the regrets of yesterday or the dreams of tomorrow steal the blissful moments you have the ability to enjoy now. Find comfort and happiness in the NOW, while healing from yesterday and planning for tomorrow. God is in the now! You can only enjoy Him in the now! And you can only enjoy now with Him!

A Pause for Hip Hop

2009-06-01T20:13:00.001-07:00

There are four things I love in this world: 1) hip hop, 2) Complex Magazine, 3) Twitter & 4) the Pause Police. And when these four things combine, I'm in entertainment heaven.

To start off, if you're not on Twitter, you should be. It's where ALL the latest news breaks first. Be a part. Don't get left behind *smile*.

And if you are on Twitter, you should be following @pausepolice.

Who are the Pause Police? Glad you asked. According to Complex Magazine, a pause is an interjection meant to clarify the unintentional use of homo-erotic language, and the Pause Police are the people who prosecute these unfortunate offenders.

Example, if a guy were to say, "My dude put in work on the basketball court," it would be necessary for him to interject a *pause*to ensure no one misinterpreted his statement. If you somehow forget to pause your statement, the Pause Police is there to sentence you for your crime, usually against the Twitter community. Hilarious to watch, yet painful to be sentenced.

Recently, Complex Magazine collaborated with Twitter's overnight sensation, the Pause Police, to pronounce stiff *pause* (it doesn't really work when you're a girl, but you get the drift) sentences over hip hop's top 69 offenders. Who knew the most homophobic people in the world (rappers) would have some many pauses? And you'll never guess who has the most…and then maybe you will Baby, Baby!!! Because he's a Bad Boy for life!!!

Check out Complex's "69 Most Pause Worthy Lyrics in Hip Hop History." You're sure to be entertained.

For more info on the Pause Police, or to check out the Pause of the Day, visit http://www.pausepolice.com/.

ABC’s of Me

2008-12-29T12:07:00.001-08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

A: Erika and I have a lot in common. My handwriting SUCKS!!! My students constantly ask me if they can rewrite the board so the directions are neat and legible. Teachers even question my passes to class as forgeries, lol.

B: God has played a cruel joke on me. For the past 4 years, I thought I had a good understanding of what He had called me to do and who He had called me to be. But in 2008 (the year of new beginnings) all of those plans have been shot to hell, and I now feel like I'm starting from the beginning. On one hand I feel a new freedom to reinvent my future. On the other hand, I'm scared as hell because what if the future I reinvent is not the one He desires for me. My only desire in life is to please Him; however, that seems more difficult than ever because I'm not sure what me pleasing Him looks like. (See C, D & E for more info.)

C: I analyze to a fault. I have always been an over-analyzer, and probably always will be. As much as I like thinking about things, it can definitely be exhausting.

D: I miss hanging out with God. Since August life has gotten so busy, we don't get to chill like we use to. And I know if we spent more time together, I would have a better understanding of where my ladder was suppose to be placed.

E: At my core, I know that pleasing God is not as complicated as I made it sound in B. However, my biggest fear is succeeding in life and getting to heaven and having God say, "That's cool and all, but that's not what I sent you there for…" I don't want to climb to the top and then realize my ladder was on the wrong building. L

F: I am a nerd and a horrible student. Yes, it is possible to be both at the same time. I love learning and gaining new insight. However, I give piss poor performances in school. (Piss poor performance is an example of alliteration).

G: Being a nerd is what makes teaching fun to me. I spend my day reading, learning, and making lessons practical for others. I couldn't ask for a better job.

H: Being a horrible student is what makes teaching hard. I spend my day with 15 and 16 year old kids who don't understand the value of a good education. It pisses me off because I know had I been a better student, I wouldn't be so overwhelmed with student loan debt. Some of these kids have the minds to go to school for free and they are blowing it by being bad students and that pisses me off. (Alliteration again, lol).

I: I get my eclectic love of music from my dad. He can name a song of any genre within in the first 3 notes. While I'm not that good, you can catch me bumping to anything from Garth Brooks to Keyshia Cole to Goodie Mob to Aerosmith and Nickleback. I love good music…period.

J: I haven't had sex in four years, four months, and 2 days, lol. And honestly I don't miss it. Yes, I desire to be in the strong, loving arms of a man, but I haven't met anyone deserving, and I refuse to settle for less than I deserve. I'm the daughter of a King, and I deserve a king in every sense of the word not just a good lay, lol.

K: I have, and always have had, celebrity crushes. Right now my list includes T.I. (he's a constant) and T.J. Holmes (CNN, check him out on Saturday mornings). There is one other, but he's within my circle of influence so I want reveal that one. Barack Obama would be on the list, but I'm so in awe of his wife I feel bad crushing on her husband.

L: I LOVE going to the gym and working out. Seriously, it's orgasmic to me. You probably can't tell, but I also love clothes, fashion, hair, and make-up. I've been a fashion magazine girl sense I was 10.

M: My name is Kia, and I am a facebook stalker, lol. If you don't want me to know something about you, don't put it on your facebook profile or delete me from your friend list, lol. It's the journalist in me. I just like knowing stuff, lol.

N: I want to be Michelle Obama when I grow up. She has a great education, successful career, smart, beautiful, and intelligent children, and a husband who adores her. I don't want a man unless he can look at me and adore me like Barack looks at Michelle.

O: That last dude: I did love him, but not because he deserved it. I made the decision to love him based off 1 Corinthians 13. I wasn't as stupid as you thought I was, and I knew he didn't appreciate or deserve all that I gave or did for him. But I thought he was the one God wanted me to love. I loved him out of obligation to my King, and as soon as He gave me the go, I was gone. At the end of the day, I don't regret it at all. If I can love a self-centered and self-absorbed butt the way I loved him, I'm positive I can love my one through it all till death do us part.

P: I miss real, sincere friendships. Ride or die friendships. BFF friendships. Maybe one day they will happen again.

Q: I believe I have the greatest kid in the world. He's cute, intelligent, and wise beyond his years. His personality is one to be desired. To know him is to love him. He's the greatest.

R: I want to have 4 kids: 3 boys and 1 girl (I need someone to carry on the Spelman and AKA legacy.) On top of that I want to "adopt" kids. I've already "adopted" one teen who I love and pray for like my own kid. I would lay down my life for my kids…both of them. J

S: I've recently gotten the desire to get tattoos in visible place--the inside of my wrist and behind my ears on the back of my neck—like Rihanna, and if I had cute feet I would get one there too. The professional in me is yelling, "Don't do it!" But then again, I've never been one for corporate America, lol. Please advise.

T: My deepest desire is to live debt free. And as deep as my debt is, I still KNOW it will happen one day, and sooner than you think.

U: I want to be the hip hop equivalent to Oprah. And while I love teaching, and don't plan on stopping anytime soon, I plan on grinding to make my self-made media empire a reality.

V: One day, I want to give back to a teenage mom. My success wouldn't have been possible without the help I received from others, and I want to make success possible for another teenage mom.

X: I want to start a non-profit organization that exposes inner city youth to the things outside of their community they need to be successful in "the real world."

Y: "The Experience" by Goodie Mob is my favorite song of all times. I wish I could put it on repeat in my classroom. I wish it would sink into our heads. Google it, YouTube it, or iTune it. You need to hear it too.

Z: This list was harder than I thought it would be to come up with. Don't stress the typos. Yes, I am an English major, former magazine editor, and English teacher, but I'm the worst at proofreading my own work. It doesn't bother me, so you should get over it too. J I'm headed to the gym now :-P

God, You Have Got to Be Crazy?

2008-07-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think God is absolutely crazy. No, seriously I do. It's like He picks the most inopportune times to allow satan (I refuse to capitalize his name) access in your life (see Job 1:6-12). These are the thoughts that ran through my mind as I sat in a funeral recently.

It's hard to understand why God allows certain things to happen in our lives, especially when we are doing everything in our power to please Him. But through my life experiences, I've learned a couple of lessons about the craziness that God sometimes allows in our lives.

There are three types of people in the world: 1) those going through a storm, 2) those coming out of a storm, and 3) those getting ready to go into a storm. It's a part of life, so don't try to avoid it.
Following God never disqualified you from life's troubles. I mean seriously, look at what happen to Jesus………..and Paul, Peter, Mary. I could go on. The awesome thing about following God is that He gives you an awesome set of tools to deal with life's problems.
When you get serious about God, the devil will get serious about you. Think about it this way: why would the devil want to waste his time disrupting your life when you're playing on his team? When you get serious about playing for God or when you start increasing your game time, satan has to do what he can to distract you. If he can cause some interference, he either 1) keeps you on his team or 2) stops you from getting as much playing time as you would otherwise get. I once read a quote that said (and I'm paraphrasing): The devil is a defeated foe who knows his fate. He's just attempting to take as many knuckleheads as he can with him.
No matter what happens in life, it's important to remember that God is perfect and sovereign (Deuteronomy 32:4), and everything that happens in life works out well for people who love the Lord (Romans 8:28).

As someone who has seen a lot of hell in her day, I know that what I'm saying is easier said than done, especially when you're in the middle of a storm, but here are a few tips that I've learned to get me through.

Use music to help you through. My personal favorites right now "Still (In Control)" by Kirk Franklin and "The Other Side of Through" by James Bignon. Check them out on iTunes.
Keep building on your faith. Know that God's Word is true and keep reading it and repeating it so that it gets in your system and you have the faith to get through the trial.
Control your thoughts. Think positive and stay focus.
Keep repeating James 1:2-4. God is perfecting your faith so you don't lack in anything. He knows what He's doing, and He has your back. He has you covered.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

---James 1:2-4

The Potter’s Wheel

2008-06-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

The hardest place in the world to be is on the Potter's wheel, especially when you know you're there. You see, the potter's wheel is used to shape and mold clay, but spiritually the Potter's wheel is the hand of God as He shapes and molds your life for His purposes.

Two kinds of people go onto the Potter's wheel: Those who know they're on the wheel and those who don't. Some people may argue that being on the Potter's wheel when you don't know it is the most difficult. In this instance, there's so much chaos going on around you and you feel completely out of control. But at the end of the day you come out of the situation with a lesson learned and a better person. I When you're in this situation, you can cry out to God for help or even blame others.

However, when you know that God has put you on the Potter's wheel to rid self-perpetuated mess from your life, the true hurt enters. There's no one to blame but you. You try to get on your knees and pray, but God interrupts you. He just keeps saying, "You know what you need to do to fix this."

You do know and you cry out, "Yes, but if you just fix my situation, I promise to fix me," when you genuinely know that if God fixes the drama before you fix your crap, you will remain in your crap and eventually the drama will return. It's like God giving someone who doesn't know how to manage their finances a million dollars. They didn't know what to do with $100 so eventually they're going to be broke again because they're going to blow the million they just got.

That's where I am, tonight (initially wrote around 5:30 on 5/30/2008). I just go on my knees to pray about my situation, and all I could say is, "I know, God. Just help me fix it so I can be done…forever!!!"

I don't trust myself to fix my situation, so even though I'm working toward it, I'm relying totally on God's strength. And I pray He keeps meeting my needs in the mean time, while keeping me from going in the red since the curse has been broken J. I also pray that He recognizes my small progress and rewards me for it, while I continue to pray for His strength and guidance to let go of the rest of this mess. And I will give Him all the glory, honor, and praise.

I love YOU, and thanks for the revelation!!!

Stop Talking about Rev. Wright or the Bears May Eat You…FOR REAL!!!

2008-05-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time, and I'm sorry and left you. God is really working on me about being more committed to this project. I'm going to do my absolute best to try and post every Thursday. PLEASE feel free to email and encourage me. I need that sometime.

Anyone who knows me knows that I've been watching the political race really closely. I've fallen in love with being a political pundit. And as tired of and disinterested in the race as I have become, I must say that my mouth has been hanging open with all the pastor problems that both Barack Obama and John McCain has been having. I mean in one political season four men of God, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Pastor John Hagee, Pastor Rod Parsley, and Father Michael Phleger, have had their names dragged through the mud and their reputations sullied all because the media and extremist bloggers from both sides of the aisle decided it would bring a little excitement.

Politically, everyone knows where I stand. I'm on the left side of the aisle, but I'm not afraid to move right on an issue or two or for the right candidate (no pun intended). I'm not so partisan that I hate those staring back at me. It's just my life experience and my personal beliefs have pushed me to the left of the aisle. I will stand strong for the left and fight with them, at least most of the time. But one thing I will not do is stand with the left and watch the beat up preachers on the other side of the aisle. And anyone on the right who decides to beat up on preachers staring at them from the other side should seriously chill out to.

Call me old school, but I believe in respecting the man of God, whether I agree with him or not. I mean who am I to speak badly of a man that God thought highly enough to have minister His Word. I know what's next: "Every preacha' ain't no man of God!!!" True, but I won't waste my time trying to judge who is and who isn't a man of God based on my personal standards, and I would suggest you didn't either. I mean I can look at you and tell you what you're not doing right by my standards, but God has never cared about man's standards when choosing His men. I mean Abraham was the father of Judaism and Christianity, but he was also a liar who often told Kings his wife was his sister (Genesis 12:10-20, their names are Abram and Sarai here, and Genesis 20:1-18). And while Sarah was technically his sister (she was his father's other wife's daughter), Abraham lied (by omission) and almost brought curses upon these kings because he did not want the rulers of to kill him for his wife. Yet God used Him and decided to birth His kingdom through him (Matthew 1).

Moses wasn't much better. Yes, Moses freed the Israelites from Egyptian slavery (Exodus 12), and he even wrote down the 10 Commandments (Exodus 20), but Moses also let his anger get the best of him, and as a result, he killed a man (Exodus 2:11-12). Yet, God still used him to lead His people into their Promised Land.

My personal story of God using someone who's jacked up is David. David became the king of Israel. He was chosen to rule the very people God had chosen as His own. And in the midst of this, David manage to spy on a Bathsheba while she was bathing, seduce her, and get her pregnant…did I mention that she was married. As if that wasn't enough, David then brought her husband, Uriah, home from the battle he was fighting FOR DAVID'S KINGDOM in hopes that Uriah would sleep with her and think she was pregnant with his child, not David's. But when Uriah chose to be loyal to the his brethren who were still fighting and sleep on the king's steps instead of going home to enjoy his wife, David order Uriah to the frontline of the battle, where he know he would surely be killed (2 Samuel 11:1-27). That sounds like some Bush/Cheney conspiracy stuff, doesn't? (Sorry, I had to put that in there). While God was displeased with David's behavior, He still used David. In fact, God even called David "a man after My Own heart" (Acts 13:22).

I know, I know, many of you a flabbergasted. Who knew that God's men had such tattered pasts, or should I say tattered paths to God. By our standards, none of them would have been fit to minister, yet God chose all of them, despite their mess. And we are still here trying to take down men of God who we think don't deserve to minister.

I really want to break everything down to you biblical and show you how what each one of these ministers said could actually be Biblical whether you like it or not. But it 3:50 in the morning, and your probably bored of reading the previous 900 words that I have written (who knew I had this much to say when I started peaking away). I'll sum it up like this. God's prophets have always had a difficult time. Most of the time they weren't politically correct, and that often got them in trouble. We see the prophet Elijah and King Ahab bump heads (1 King 17:1-18:45). We see John the Baptist killed by King Herod because of John's prophecy (Mark 6:14-29). And we see what happen to Jesus when the church and politics really mixed (Luke 23:1-56).

Why do we give men of God such a hard time? Because we don't appreciate them. Jesus said it himself in Matthew 13:57:

And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, "Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor."

We are offended by what the prophets of God have to say, and therefore take offense at them, and usually bash them from that point forward.

As tempted as I sometime am to talk about God's men, I'm often stopped by His word. 1 Chronicles 16:22 cleary states "Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm," and if you turn to 2 Kings 2:23-25, you will see what happens when you bring harm, even with your words, to God's men. A group of kids were calling Elisha the prophet of God "bald head." Elisha turned around, cursed them in the name of the LORD, and two bears came out the woods and ate the kids. I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to mess with anyone who has a hotline to Heaven like that…youknowwhatimean???

Yes, God is a merciful God. Yes, He forgives us daily, but He also punishes those who don't seek His forgiveness. So stay off Rev. Wright, Pastor Hagee, Pastor Parsley, and Father Phleger. Don't drag them into these political fireworks. Or the bears may just jump out and eat.

King James Vogue Cover

2008-04-01T10:00:00.000-07:00

Initially, I gave Vogue the benefit of the doubt. I mean, the only thing I hate more than racism is people making unsubstantial accusations of racism.

Personally, I had never seen the King Kong photo. After seeing it side-by-side with the Vogue cover, my opinion has changed.

I'm still left with one question: was this an insensitive attempt at reproducing art or was it a malicious attack purposed to demonize black men?

What do you think?

T.I. Came to My Church Sunday

2008-03-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows the fact that T.I. was coming to Easter worship service was a big deal to me. I've been a fan of this man since he was running around talking about "I'm Serious" and everyone was questioning why this arrogant negro was disrespecting the South by crowning himself Da King. I mean seriously, if Jesus would've called and said, "Kia, I'm not going to be able to show up at service today" my butt probably would've said, "I understand, Lord, but do you mind if I go and see T.I." LOL, God knows my heart.

Once I got wind of the fact that he would be showing up, I emailed my peeps to let them know what was going on. My girl, Erika, came through with the witty comment like always. "Please remember to focus on the word and not scope out all three services trying to identify the man's police detail." Lucky for me, we only had one service since we were able to worship in the Georgia Dome, and I didn't need to scope out his police detail because one of the ministers from the church introduced him and handed him the mic.

As I stood, along with the rest of the congregation and clapped, and my son, Cameron, annoyingly rolled his eyes with frustration, I was really anticipating what Tip would say from the pulpit. As he began to speak, I realize why I admire this man so much: his SWAGGER!!!

In my opinion, T.I. has the perfect mixture of confidence and humbleness. This man knows who he is, he knows that he's good and what he does, and he demands that you respect him for that. At the same time, he knows that his life could've been drastically different, and he didn't have to be given the opportunity to become T.I. So he's humbled by the accolades he receives. As he stood among the 30,000 church folk in the Dome, his awesome combination of confidence and humbleness—his swagger—shined like never before.

We all know church folks can be a little (dare I say it) judgmental, and T.I.'s troubles have definitely not been private. Had I been enduring what he's been through the past couple of months, I would have been weary of walking in the church, let alone taking the mic and speaking. But my man Tip didn't miss a beat. He walked up, took the mic, and started spitting his urban wisdom with complete confidence.

We had been doing a lot of HIV/AIDS outreach throughout the city, so after acknowledging Jesus and the occasion, he took the opportunity to speak to the young 'uns about sex and HIV. He told them they should do it God's way and practice abstinent. He also recognized that all of them would not be waiting until they said I do's, so he encouraged them to protect themselves. He pointed out that just because shawty looks good and doesn't look like he/she has anything doesn't mean they're clean, and he encouraged them to ask themselves one question before they settled on judging a book by its cover: "Would you bet your life on it? Because that's exactly what you're doing."

Before he left the stage he said (and I'm quoting from memory so it will not be exact), "I know a lot of yall would like to hear me talk about something else (the congregation laughs), but I'm not going to do that today. Just know that He (points to the sky) gots me so I'm going to be alright." A little later he stated that he had asked God for forgiveness for the same thing so many times, yet God always had his back.

As he sat down, I thought, Wow, this man is amazing. He has a public mess going, yet he steps in front of what could possibly be the most judgmental crowd ever and uplift others while acknowledging his own shortcomings and drama.

What's really ironic is about three days later, I spoke with a friend who confided in me their fears of walking in a church after years of being absent. That got me thinking, how many people are going through hard times and truly need God and the ministry of the church, yet they refuse to do so for fear of judgment? It's unfortunate that this would ever be an issue. Ideally, the church is supposed to be open for hurting, broken, scared, and confused individuals. However, churchgoers have become so self-righteous and caught up in their "good deeds" that they harshly judge those who are truly looking to have an experience with God.

Today, I want to challenge those on both sides of this issue to step up. For those who haven't been to church in awhile or are going through public trials, don't be afraid to boldly walk into God's house. I'll be the first to say, I love my God, but some of His people are jacked up. Ignore them. The real saints of God understand your struggle and pain because they've had their own share of troubles. They will be there to help you walk it out. They understand that but by the grace of God, there goes I, so they won't judge you; they'll just help you walk it out. Nothing you do is too big, bad, or wrong that the Blood of Jesus can cover and deliver you from and through, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

Church folk, get your mind right, and remember, but by the grace of God there goes I. It could have been you and would've been you if God had not covered you. Even on your best day you are not fit to go before the throne of God if it were not for the Blood of Jesus. Why don't you try to spend more time helping someone discover who God is instead of mounting evidence as to why they are not fit for God's house. satan is the accuser of the brethren. So I ask you, whose work are you really doing? And if the devil isn't chasing you, you're probably working on his team, so your issues are deeper than those that you are judging.

T.I. Came to My Church Sunday

2008-03-26T21:03:00.001-07:00

Seriously, God

2008-02-14T09:30:00.001-08:00

God, I'm hurting. You know this. But yet, you won't let me leave. I'm really trying to figure out what lesson you're trying to teach me, because I seriously want to learn it and get it over with.

When I think of how long I've been going around this mountain, I get seriously ill. I'll be the first to admit to mistakes being made, but at the end of the day God, You knew my heart. My heart has never been rebellious or defiant of what You were saying to me. The mistakes that I've made have always been because the emotional turmoil was just too much for me to handle at the time.

I know this has to be you because God I'm intelligent and secure. I wouldn't get myself caught in a mess like this and then just stay. In fact, everything in me wants to leave. Nothing makes him worth all this. He's just not that great. If I had my say I would walk away and never look back, but I honestly feel like you are keeping me here.

That leads me to the question of why? Why do you love him more than you love me? I know that's not true, but God that's what if feels like. Why would you answer his prayers and not mine? Why does it feel like I'm giving my life, and he's sitting back smiling and receiving it all?

I heard the lady speak yesterday. And I knew she was speaking directly to me. I heard her say are you willing to be radical and do something different from those around you for God. You know that answer is yes. I'm still here. I'm still standing. And I'm still believing. But Lord, how long? How much hurt? And how will I ever recover?

I'm trying to be strong. I'm trying to stand tall. And I still believe what you said to me. My prayer has always been, as long as you give me the strength, I keep standing, keep believing, and keep moving. So, God, my prayer is that you strength me and heal this empty, open, dying place in the midst of my soul.

I love you, God. And I trust you in this place.

Love by Definition

2008-02-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, everyone!!!

I know all of you love bugs are excited about the opportunity to show that special someone exactly how much you love them. However, have you ever questioned if you truly love them by God's definition?

We tend to throw the word love around very causally. By this world's definition, love is an emotion. It's a feeling that can change from minute to minute or moment to moment. It's that goo-goo gaa-gaa feeling you get when you see that person. It's the butterflies in your stomach, the constant thoughts, and the big cheesy smiles exchanged.

By the Bible's definition, love is completely different. Paul defines love in 1 Corinthians 13. And by the Bible's definition, it's made clear that love is a decision, not an emotion, and the decision to love has to be made in both good times and bad times.

Let's break down the attributes of love by biblical standards.

Love is patience/suffers long—We tend to think that we can only love when it feels good. But true love is proven in the difficult times—when you can hurt and still show love. When you can patiently wait, while you are suffering, for God to work out your loved one's issue.
Love is kind. It does not envy, boast, and is not proud—Love is not mean, jealous and prideful. These ideas of "he does it because he loves me" or "her jealously just shows that she cares" are absurd. That's insecurity and not love. Love is humble, caring, and kind.
Love is not rude, self-seeking, easily angered, and keeps no record of wrong—When you love someone, you lose any attitude you may desire to have towards them, and your main concern is for their feelings and well-being and not your own. I once heard a minister say, "Love asks what can I do for you, while lust ask what can you do for me." Which question are you asking? And more importantly, which question is your partner asking? In addition, you don't become angry easily when you truly love someone, and you don't keep a list of everything your loved one has done wrong when true love is in play.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth—If your loved one is manipulating, lying, or abusing his or her place in your life, that's not love, and you shouldn't settle for it. True love is built on honesty and the truth, not little white lies that "really don't matter that much."
Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.—Self-explanatory, huh?

Love by the Bibles definition isn't easy. It may even cause you to hurt and suffer long at times. That's why it's important that you guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23). I am a firm believer in praying about a person before you open your heart to them. That way when you decide to love them, you know it is a person God has sent to be loved by you.

I've also learned a number of other love lessons over the years.

If you don't know how to be alone, you will never know how to have a productive relationship. There's nothing attractive about being dependent on another person for happiness.
Deal with your insecurities before you enter a relationship. I have a friend who repeatedly picks girls who appear to have it all together, but behind the scenes, they are a mess. I always wondered why he did this, and then I realized he is very insecure. Strong women who truly have it all together intimidate him. In the end, I feel sorry for him. He comes from a family of strong, got-it-together women, and he's truly attracted to them, so he's never going to be happy as long as he's settling for less that he desires or deserves.
Women you can't be so strong that you make a man feel less than a man. It's not about playing blonde. You just have to allow your man to do things for you so he feels needed.
Sex is not the most important attribute in a relationship. If you pick sex, over everything else, you're truly and idiot and don't deserve to be happy, lol. The best sex comes with intimacy, but sex does not create intimacy. Learn the difference and abide accordingly.
The foundation of a long lasting relationship is always friendship. ALWAYS!!!
To be productive, love must be a two-way street. If one walks down a one-way street, heart wrenching pain is sure to follow.
Relationships of convenience are a waste of time. They may feel good temporarily, but in the end they add nothing to your life. Avoid them. Check out what Chris Tucker said about them here: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&friendID=51056250
Causal dating is for causal people, and I'm not causal. Prove to me that knowing you is going to be beneficial to the person I am becoming. If you can't, please don't waste my time. I'm waiting on God to give me the go-ahead, and I'm content with doing so.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

My Super Tuesday Rundown

2008-02-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

These are my bias and adulterated thoughts and opinions. You can hate if you want, but you're wasting your time.

The Biggest Losers: Mitt Romney & Hillary Clinton

Romney—He story has proven to be a sad one. He also has me doubting his business schools. In the words of Obama, he hasn't gotten the best return on his $32 million investment in his campaign. If I was his kids, I would be pissed—wasting my inheritance. I just want him to bow out now before he has to leave with absolutely no dignity.
Clinton—Yes, Hillary gave a stellar performance last night…IF YOU WERE THE AVERAGE POLITICIAN!!! Clinton was basically running as an incumbent, and last night she was suppose to be crown as the Queen of the Democratic Party. Instead, she's fighting for her life (see this story http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0208/8363.html). I kinda feel sorry for her. It must really hurt to have your dreams ripped from you. I hope she'll be ok in the end.

Five years ago, I would have been on the Hillary bandwagon, but after what I've learned about her over the past 7 weeks, it would take a whole hell of a lot for me to ever cast my vote for her. She should've ran in 2004, but she didn't because she was scared. The Clintons don't know how to handle defeat. They proved that after Iowa and South Carolina. And going up against the Bush's were just too much for them (yes, I say them because Billary is alive and well. There is no one without the other). Could you imagined how ugly and dirty that race would've been. Oh my, causalities would've fallen everywhere. America may have never recovered, but at least she would have had a chance. Billary could've easily slung more mud than Bush 1, Bush 2, and puppet master Rove, but it's no way they can defeat the movement that has surrounded Obama.

We Are the Champions: Mike Huckabee & Barack Obama

Huckabee(http://www.politico.com/blogs/thecrypt/0108/Huckabee_continues_to_whack_Romney_defend_McCain.html)—It's been funny watching Huckabee and Romney trade jabs over the past week. It's even more amusing to see the former Baptist minister knock the hell out of Romney. Huckabee surprised the nation when he took all of the South, giving McCain a run for his money and sending Romney home crying and rebalancing his check book.
Huckabee has also been running the most successful campaign for VP EVER!!!! The way he was talking up McCain the other day, I thought he was dropping out and endorsing McCain. And after his performance yesterday in the south and among evangelicals he's proven that he may be the secret weapon to help McCain shut of the angry, social conservative evangelicals.
Obama shined last night and proved that the movement surrounding him can keep up with, and defeat, the Clinton machine. Where he won, he blew her out the water—capturing up to 79% of the vote. Where she won, she did so in much narrower margins. He has momentum (everyone's talking about him), money ($32 million in Jan & $3.9 million since the polls closed LAST NIGHT!!!) and he has the advantage. On Saturday, Louisiana votes and caucuses in Washington and Nebraska. Barack does assume in caucuses. He's won 8 out of 9 of them so far (and Nevada was close). It's hard to hear people talk about Obama and not jump on his team. And with him getting 80% of the black vote he could very well sweep on Saturday giving him even more momentum and free media. Maine caucuses Sunday which will be interesting to watch, seeing that it's in Clinton's carpet bagging backyard, but since it's a caucus, he should do well there. Tuesday Virginia, Maryland, and DC vote. All have large African-American populations and large numbers of high income voters, both of which Obama dominates. On the 19^th Hawaii, where Obama is a native son, caucuses and Wisconsin has its primary (he does great in the west). So for the next 2 weeks, Obama should be able to close the delegate gap and build up the momentum. With that said, Obama supporters shouldn't get cocky. Remember New Hampshire. Always work like you're 10 points down in the poll and keep grinding, keep WRITING CHECKS, AND KEEP PRAYING. http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/06/clinton-considers-lending-her-campaign-money/.

The Biggest Disappointments: John McCain, John Edwards, the Conservative Evangelicals, Bill Clinton & Chelsey Clinton

McCain—McCain declared himself the frontrunner, but he has yet to prove he can unity the party. But I'm disappointed for other reasons. I don't agree with McCain on most stuff, but I've always respected his ability to stand for what he believed in despite it not completely aligning with what his party desired. I love a politician that sees past party lines. I respected and admired the Straight Talk Express—too bad the wheels fell off this week.

In his desperation to quickly silent Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, and the other right wing extremist who confuse conservatism with moralism, he began pandering and selling out more than anyone else this election season. I mean he made Bob Johnson and Andy Young's Uncle Tomming look mild. It was at that point that I realize, under no circumstance would McCain get my vote. He is now in the boat with Hillary. I can't vote for you because I don't know what you stand for because it flip flops more than beach shoes. McCain, I'm over it. Take your old butt home, you sell out.
Edwards—Edwards had a chance to make his voice count, and I'm afraid that he may have just lost any opportunity to have his endorsement be significant. Obama proved to be the top dog by simply staying in the fight. While Edwards voice will still convince some, most of his supporters have already made up their mind by now. There's only two reasons he could be holding out: 1) He's scared of the Clintons or 2) he's trying to broker a deal. Either way I'm upset with him, and he may have lost a significant amount of bargaining power by not endorsing soon enough. Oh well, boo-hoo for him.
The Conservative Evangelicals (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTqgqhxVMc)—I'm honestly starting to believe that these people are the Christian equivalent to Muslim terrorist. I mean Jesus' number one law was to love, but these folks spend so much time judging people unworthy that they don't have time to love. Yes, America needs a moral fiber, but seriously, chill out. I've never heard such a temper tantrum of someone not getting their way (except when Hillary lost Iowa). As a devout Christian myself, I understand your desire to see everyone except Jesus and live by his will, but we're electing the President of the United States not the leader of your church. They really need to learn how to better apply the principles of Christianity without alienated 95% of the world. If they put as much energy behind ministry, they might could actually save some people's lives.
Clinton—I was really disappointed in not hear Bill do more campaign over the past week. I mean every time he opens his mouth Hillary's poll number began to evaporate, so I was hoping he would put his foot in his mouth (and his butt) a couple of times so that all of this could've ended yesterday. I was sad. While they somehow manage to put a cork in Bill, I don't think he enjoys playing second fiddle. I saw video of him, Chelsey, and Hills voting in New York on yesterday. You could tell he had been told to smile and nod, but he really wanted to say something badly. When he did begin talking, Chelsey politely nudged him out of the door.
Baby Clinton—I was upset with Rush and them when they dogged Chelsey out when her parents were in the White House. I mean seriously, this big, fat, drug addicted man is clowning kids. He must have really big balls. I was even excited when Chelsey arrived back on the scene. She was so cute and groomed to me and seemed like a fine young woman. But the more I see and "hear" from her, she just appears to be an empty suit, decoration standing around to make her mom look good. I was further turned off yesterday when I heard she called Whoopi, Sherri, and Joy from the view to tell them to vote for her mom. And why does she whisper when she talks? Speak up, girl!!! Over all, I'm very disappointed in the baby Clinton. I expected her to have much more personality.

The Wildcards: McCain, Clinton & Obama, Obama-Clinton, Republicans/Democrats

McCain--McCain will probably come out as the Republican nominee, but things aren't looking good for him. First, a good portion of his party is pissed at the idea of him being nominated and threatening to vote for Hillary. If the matchup is between McCain and Clinton, it will be an interesting race because both have as many people that hate them as they do routing for them. In the words of one Fox News message board commenter:

McCain or Clinton, that is kinda like choosing between Satan, and Satan's stupid step-child. This is the worst field in my existence. Ultra-lib or Ultra-lib sympathizer…. I may actually abstain from voting for the first time in my life. I honestly feel ill!
I honestly believe that election could go either way—even to a third party candidate. The Republicans want Hillary to win. They know they can handle her. http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/images/2008-02-06_obama_mailer_clintons_4.jpg

And Obama vs. McCain matchup would be completely different fight. Yes, Rove and his attack dogs would be out, but one thing we've learned this primary season is it's not easy to attack Obama and not catch backlash—ask Billary. You just look like the bad guy when you're throwing mud at someone who's not throwing back. Plus, Obama has that crossover appeal. I think Obama could take him, but then again, I believe in destiny, so I also believe Obama is unstoppable. Bottom line, I don't think Hills is electable. Obama's brought in droves of new voters who are motivated by change; hence, they probably won't vote if he's not carrying the ticket.
Obama-Clinton/Clinton-Obama Dream Ticket—I hate to disappoint people, but it won't happen. I know it's all politics, but I honestly believe there's too much bad blood between them. If Hillary carries the ticket, I doubt if Obama would want to play third wheel to Bill. And if Obama carries the ticket, I doubt if he will want to throw all the Clinton baggage on the Obama bandwagon with him. It's more of a liability if you ask me. Finally, they are both alpha dogs. Alpha dogs can be co-partners. It just doesn't work.
Republicans/Democrats—If I were a Republican, I would be worried. From what I've seen the Democrats have had twice the voter turnout as Republicans. That doesn't look good for Republicans in the general election. They are messing up even worse by completely dismissing Ron Paul. Yeah, the guy may be weird, but he's bringing in young voters and new voters. Not in the numbers that Obama is, but more than any other Republican candidate. If the Dems keep bringing in new voters and the Republicans ignore the few it brings in, they will be hurting in November, in 2010 election and the party is going to quickly become old and unable to relate to the mainstream population. In the end, they're going to lose.

My Pet Peeves

I hate it when people say that Obama is winning because of the black vote. That's the equivalent is winning because of the female vote. It's stupid. And I wish they would just shut up.

Anyways, happy election season. It's been fun so far, and sure to get even better. We can do this. We will do this. And America will never be the same.

The Clintons: Bill Loses His Ghetto Pass & Hillary Proves She’s Doesn’t Care What’s Best for the Nation

2008-01-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

During the 1990s, Bill Clinton was given an honor that few people outside of the hood ever get—a ghetto pass. The hood is a place that respects its own, and it's extremely hard for those outside of the hood to build up the rapport to come, go, and associate as you please. I mean there are numerous established and respectable African Americans who don't have a ghetto pass and will never be given one—namely Bill Cosby and Oprah Winfrey. As difficult as it is to obtain a ghetto pass, good ole Bill got one and then went and screwed it up by playing southern politics and making ridiculous comments in an effort to incite an southern race riot at the polls.

I am a diehard Obama supporter—no doubt, but I have always had the upmost respect for the Clintons. I embraced Bill and accepted him as "the first black President" not because he played with weed (because you know he didn't inhale) and cheated on his wife. I loved Bill because he was the only candidate I'd ever seen actively embrace the African-American community. I watched him blow the hell out of the sax on Arsenio Hall while wearing his shades and listened as he spoke from the pulpits of black churches throughout the country. I even watched Will Smith rap at his inauguration on the Disney Channel. Bill Clinton was my President, so I defended him went the right-wing attack dogs started the whole Monica Lewinsky scandal. I mean that was between him and Hillary, and America had absolutely no business in their bedroom. And when he came to my church for the funeral of Coretta Scott King and paraded Hills on stage in preparation for her presidential run, I, along with the rest of the congregation, stood and cheered with pride and admiration.

I have held Bill Clinton down for the past 18 years, so it pains me to lose so much respect for him. I know longer view him as the admirable President of this great nation. Instead, I see him as a desperate husband trying to extend his legacy through his wife, even if he has to taint and destroy his legacy to ensure she gets her shot at the presidency. I see him as an angry campaigner who really can't handle the heat and often blows his fuse by turning red as he chastises reporters while waving his finger in their faces. I see him as a frustrated politician willing to throw out the race card and then hide his hands like he never touched it—all while remarking that "Hillary can't win here because 50% of the voters are black" and "Jessie Jackson won South Carolina in 84 and 88" as if the black vote can be so easily dismissed or black voters are dumb followers who vote by race and nothing else. Why didn't you bring up the fact that Al Sharpton didn't win South Carolina in '04, Mr. President? Or that Jessie Jackson won South Carolina when the state held caucuses and not primaries. Or the fact that he blew Hillary out the water in Iowa a state where blacks make up around 3% of the population. I guess that would've thrown a monkey wrench in his theory, huh?

As my republican friend and I discussed how many times good ole Bill had put his foot in his mouth over the past 2 weeks, she laughed and said, "I told you, Kia. Bill Clinton is the worst kind of white man—the kind who smiles and is happy with black folks as long as they do what they're told, but once they decide to think independently he wants to public chastise and dismiss them."

I sat silently. For the first time in 8 years of political discussions, I sat quietly with nothing to say. Bill Clinton had just proven himself to be that kind of white man. I guess Massa ain't too pleased wit de way we been actin in South Carolina.

On to Hillary

For the last 18 years I've heard people spew awful statements about Hillary Clinton, and I never quite understood why. She seemed to be a strong and driven woman of her own regard, and I very much respected the fact that during a time when she should've been publically humiliated, she stood solid and continued to support her husband. I wrote off the comments as patriarchal men afraid of a powerful, driven woman. However, over the past month my opinion of her has completely changed.

Vowing for the Democratic nomination for President, Hillary has repeatedly touted that she could spearhead bi-partisan leadership as President. However, my question to her would be, how in the hell can you work on bi-partisan projects and do what's best for the country when you can't even put what's best for your party over what is in your best personal interest.

Over the past week, numerous higher ups in the Democratic party (i.e. Ted Kennedy, Howard Dean, etc.) have called the Clinton campaign and told them to shut up with their racial rhetoric and negative campaigning because it's bad for the party. Many undecided voters and Obama supporters have vowed not to vote for Hillary even if she were to win the Democratic nomination because of all of the awful campaign tactics her camp has used in the past 3 weeks. However, her clique has continued. And with absolutely no cross over or independent appeal, she needs every democratic vote she can get if she plans on winning in November.

At the end of the day, how can America really trust Billary to do what's best for the country when they can't even put what's best for their party over their personal interest? How can the African-American community trust and/or vote for the Clintons after hearing the overwhelmingly belittling statements they've made over the past 2-3 weeks?

I watched Ted Kennedy plead for democrats to support who ever the nominee is come November. I heard him, but I shole the hell wasn't listening. Come November, if Hillary is the nominee (which she won't be), I refuse to vote for her. Bloomberg, Edwards, McCain, and Huckabee all will get my vote before she does. Hell if she ran for head trash dumper of Dekalb County Georgia, she wouldn't get my vote. I'm done.

Like Al Sharpton said (I never thought I would agree with him) I don't Uncle Tom for anyone, and as much of a Blue Blood Democrat as I am, I refuse to EVER vote for someone who doesn't have my best interest at heart. I will never sacrifice my community and my people for my party, and I pray the Democratic National Committee is taking note.

I don't play racial politics at all (I refuse to even bring up race unless it is absolutely necessary), but I refuse to be played as well. I refuse to have the Clintons (because they are running together) disrespect me, my community, and my history just because we're not blindly jumping on the Clinton bandwagon. I've never been this disgusted in my life—even by those who play Karl Rovian politics. At least you expect it to come from Rove and his clan. I guess momma was right when she said everything that glitters ain't gold. After 18 years of glitter, the Clintons have proven to be nothing more than fool's gold—and we all know who the fools in the equation are.

Shouts Out to John for the inspiration and the title ("Bill Clinton done lost his ghetto pass") and Adrianna for being the Republican to silence me, lol. I love my friends. They are such nerds, in a good way.

Obama's Top 10 Campaign Promises

2008-01-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

Ed Schultz: Bill Clinton is Lying

2008-01-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

(un)Abandon

2008-01-23T20:09:00.001-08:00

What do you do when you feel you've been abandoned by the one Person you could trust with everything? What do you do when the One you loved, trusted, and put first seems to forget you exist? That's where I am now. I'm asking God why?

God, why have you left me? Why did you abandon me? You told me you had this situation. You told me I would win. You told me there would be one and then I was up next. I stood through that one, and when I couldn't stand, and sat, and when that got to be too much, and laid in the fetal position and cried. But I never moved.

Why did You lie to me, God? Why did You leave me? Why, when I know You are well able, are You not fixing this situation?

You said if I cried out that you would rescue me. But it seems my cries, screams, and bawls have fallen on deaf ears.

You know how bad I hurt. You know I'm dying on the inside. Yet you sit back and do nothing, but watch me die inside and out.

I trusted you when I could trust no one else. I trusted you when I didn't trust myself. I followed you blindly and look where I ended up. I've loved you, rebuked devils, and walked away, and here I stand—alone, and so far from where You promised me.

The only reason I stood through all the hurts, over all the years is because you said I would win. I showed me a promise, a vision, and I grabbed hold and ran with it. Now, here I am feeling on the inside like I am so close. But that part of me that connects to You is dying.

Emotions

2008-01-23T20:05:00.001-08:00

I'm really trying to erase you, but you keep coming into my mind. Why can't our situation be simple, or at least less complicated? One moment I hate you and want you to die. You not existing would make my life easier. But the next I miss you and need you in my world. Confusing, right? Most often, I'm confused. How could something so good, so promising, so open, honest, and genuine appear to go so wrong? Then the fear arises again. What's going to happen next? How will you hurt me this time? For me to be ok, I must hate you, but to …

Reality

2008-01-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

Imagine fearing and avoiding a situation for months, even years, and then suddenly being forced to deal with it head on. You would think it would hurt. Surprisingly, it didn't. To face this reality, I had to dig deep in emotional baggage, and I was afraid that dealing with all that emotion in "public" would break me down. But it didn't. Talking through what I had been contemplating for months, even years, actually made me feel better. It was a release. I was letting go of so many feelings, conflicting emotions, and dominating thoughts, and I could literally feel weight lifting off of me. At the end of the day, everything didn't play out the way I would've dreamed, but I was able to walk away with my dignity and self-respect still intact.

What did hurt me is that when I walked away, I appeared to be ages away from where God had showed me all of this would end. That's what's most frustrating about this entire situation. I know what God's showed me. Even in moments when I've wanted to give up and walk away, it was God's vision that kept me standing, waiting, hoping. But after soooo much time, I'm truly tired. I weary. And even knowing how great the end is going to be, I'm ready to give up and walk away. I know the Bible says Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9), but I'm too tired to keep on. I just don't wanna. The only thing that keeps me from walking away with my head down in defeat is fear.

I'm deadly afraid of walking away from God. As much as I'm tired of staying and going around this damn mountain a kazillion times, I'm more afraid of giving up on God. To walk away would equate to me saying God's not able to do what He promised me. And I know that's not true. I know God's able. I just don't know if I'm able to not faint.

When I first started on this journey, I told God that I would stay on this path as long as He gave me the strength. I'M JUST SO FREAKING TIRED. I HAVEN'T ALWAYS DONE RIGHT, BUT GOD KNOWS I'VE ALWAYS TRIED MY BEST TO PLEASE HIM IN THIS SITUATION. All too often I've walked away from what I wanted at the time in an effort to stay in line with what God had told and showed me. And as hard as I've tried it just feels like He has had my back. Now in my mind and spirit, I know this isn't true. If I had to be honest, I can even see that God has been there for me emotional. But the reality of the situation is I'm tired. I'M JUST TIRED GOD I WANT TO MOVE ON.

I've heard all the crap about enjoying the journey and birthing the baby, but at this point if I could abort this bastard and still have a chance and finding happiness in life, I would do it with a second thought. My fear is if I do abort my gift from God, I will lose every chance I have at happiness and everything would be worthless.

God, I'm tired. Please, Lord, I'm begging you now—laid out on my face, snot flying beggin, PUHLEASEEEEEE don't let this get any more difficult for me and please give me the strengthen to get through this. I don't want to give up on You! I don't want to give up on the vision you gave me and the dream that's in my heart. But I don't want to hurt like this anymore either. God, you have gotta stop my hurt!!! Please, I'm really begging You.

Def Jam Poetry - Jill Scott

2008-01-19T06:37:00.000-08:00

Sister's can you hear it!!!!

Tired

2008-01-17T20:10:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. And I'm confused. I really don't know what God is doing or why He's doing this, but I'm still here. I don't want to be here. But I trust God.

Honestly, if God was a man, I would straight cuss Him out and be done with it. But He's not. He's God. And I trust Him with this. I trust Him when I can't see Him. This is a new season. Not the same crap as in the past. Old things have passed away.

I'm going to be ok. God's got me.

Muah!!!

We Win!!!

2008-01-17T10:32:00.000-08:00

I love my girls, but sometimes I think we are the biggest group of nerds ever. I mean, we sit around and talk about politics, the environment, religion, education, and the problems in society like most people talk about movies and music. I mean seriously. I'm not sure if it's because we're old (is 26 really old???) or because of the schools we went to, but 95% of our conversations get super intellectual.

Yesterday I was having one of those conversations with my old roommate, and we started discussing the fact that the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved the sale of meat that comes from the offsprings of cloned animals, and they are not requiring these foods to be labeled (yeah, I would start writing my U.S. representatives now). The discussion then went to the rate science and society grow and develop. By the end of the conversation, I told my friend, "See, stuff like this makes me not want to have kids."

She replied, "But isn't that the unchristian thing to do?" She went on to talk about how we have to be the standard for society, etc.

"Yes, you're right," I said. "It's just I don't mind standing on faith and fighting these battles, but as a mother, I don't want my kids and grandkids to have to deal with these issues."

After we ended our conversation, I continued to ponder the subject. I love kids, and I want to have a lot of them—five to be exact (too many?). But I will do anything not to see them suffer or have to fight. Then the lyrics of an Israel & Newbreed song we sang at church came to mind: "We are victorious, we are victorious, we are, we are." (I can hear Ms. Latoya sang it now, lol).

I once heard a minister say, "The beautiful thing about the Bible is that it shows us at the end, WE WIN!!!"

Life is going to have its hard times, and it's easy to be bogged down with the troubles we encounter. However, at the end of the day, we must remember WE WIN!!! Rather it's money troubles, relationship problems, family problems, or facing the devil face-to-face, WE WIN!!!

God's word says that the righteous are never forsaken, and at that moment yesterday, I knew God was showing me the importance of instilling these principles in my kids and grandkids, so they will not cave. They have to be empowered to stand and fight God's battles like we are. If we succeed but don't pass the principles and knowledge down to the following generations, we've failed. (That's what happened after the civil rights movement, but that's another story).

As I end today, remember, no matter what you're going through or how bad life or this world gets, YOU WIN!!!

Scripture References:

--I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his descendants begging bread (Psalm 37:25, NKJV).

--And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified (Romans 8:28-30, NKJV).

BTW, yesterday my son prayed for our family before bedtime. He prayed that our family continues to get stronger and stronger from one generation to the next. Coincidence??? I think not.

Interesting!!! New Hampshire Recount???

2008-01-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

Kucinich asks for New Hampshire recount in the interest of election integrity

DETROIT, MI – Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, the most outspoken advocate in the Presidential field and in Congress for election integrity, paper-ballot elections, and campaign finance reform, has sent a letter to the New Hampshire Secretary of State asking for a recount of Tuesday’s election because of “unexplained disparities between hand-counted ballots and machine-counted ballots.”

http://www.dennis4president.com/go/homepage-items/kucinich-asks-for-new-hampshire-recount-in-the-interest-of-election-integrity/

Bill Gates Retires!!!

2008-01-09T15:20:00.000-08:00

This is the funniest video I've seen in a LONG time!!!

Colin Powell Praises Obama

2008-01-08T16:00:00.000-08:00

The video speaks for itself.

Barack Obama Iowa Caucus Victory Speech

2008-01-04T08:28:00.000-08:00

This is why Obama should be the next President of the United States.

Obama's Iowa Victory Speech: The Most Important Speech of His Life

2008-01-04T08:07:00.000-08:00

We are the Champions and It Speaks Volumes: What Obama’s Victory Means to America

2008-01-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama has just made, what I would say is, the most important speech of his life—his Iowa Caucus victory speech. And HE KILLED IT!!!

This speech was inspirational and moving, similar to the one he made at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. He laid out why you should elect him the next president. He didn't speak against anyone or anything. He didn't try to convenience you that Democratic was the way to go.

According to Obama, he should be elected President of the United States of America because he stands for what is best for ALL Americans—Democrats, Republicans, and Independents…upper, middle, and lower class. Obama is not running on a campaign of fear. He is running a campaign of unification.

Barack's victory in Iowa is monumental on numerous front:

A black (technically bi-racial) man won a majority of votes in a state with an African-American population of 2.3%. This has to have all those black people in South Carolina who said white people wouldn't vote for a black man second guessing themselves.
During a time when the average American approaches anything Islamic with much caution, a Christian man named Barack Hussein Obama won a majority of the vote in the heart of America.
Obama started his campaign refusing to take money for special interest group, lobbyist, and all those other groups who are presently running and buying Washington. Obama has been able to compete national with money from average old Americans like me—a single, self-employed mom whose give 3 times to his campaign. (I even gave to Obama before I gave to Spelman, my alma mater, but don't tell Spelman that, LOL). If you really want to see this man win, write a check today PLEASE!!!!
Character, principle and authenticity matter to the American people. We want a leader we can trust.
People are inspired. People have hope. This is our time—the average American's time—to take back our government. A government that was created by the people for the people, but somehow lost that purpose. This is our opportunity. Let's grab hold of it.

I am super excited about this win--not surprised because I knew it was coming. Let's ride this wave all the way to the White House!!! Let's right checks, rally troops, make phone calls, send emails, post on myspace, facebook and youtube, and pray. Pray for wisdom for Obama's campaign staff. Let's pray for favor on Obama's entire campaign. And let's pray that God continues to anoint Obama's tongue so that he says the right thing at the right time in the right way. And who said praying Christians only voted for conservative, right-winged Republicans.

God bless and don't forget to BaRack the Vote!!!

We are the Champions and It Speaks Volumes: What Obama’s Victory Means to America

2008-01-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama has just made, what I would say is, the most important speech of his life—his Iowa Caucus victory speech. And HE KILLED IT!!!

Barack's victory in Iowa is monumental on numerous front:

A black (technically bi-racial) man won a majority of votes in a state with an African-American population of 2.3%. This has to have all those black people in South Carolina who said white people wouldn't vote for a black man second guessing themselves.
During a time when the average American approaches anything Islamic with much caution, a Christian man named Barack Hussein Obama won a majority of the vote in the heart of America.
Obama started his campaign refusing to take money for special interest group, lobbyist, and all those other groups who are presently running and buying Washington. Obama has been able to compete national with money from average old Americans like me—a single, self-employed mom whose give 3 times to his campaign. (I even gave to Obama before I gave to Spelman, my alma mater, but don't tell Spelman that, LOL). If you really want to see this man win, write a check today PLEASE!!!!
Character, principle and authenticity matter to the American people. We want a leader we can trust.
People are inspired. People have hope. This is our time—the average American's time—to take back our government. A government that was created by the people for the people, but somehow lost that purpose. This is our opportunity. Let's grab hold of it.

God bless and don't forget to BaRack the Vote!!!

What's Your Perception of the Highest Office in the Country?

2008-01-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

It's always been my opinion that President Bush has scoured the world's perception of his office. I think this poll pretty much shows that it's definitely tainted in the US.

Let's take back our political system. Take the time to research the candidates and vote for who you think with do best for ALL of America.

No Longer Afraid

2007-12-30T10:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was afraid, but I said a prayer last night and woke up with the peace of God. I know exactly what God is about to do in my life. Even if I didn't know, I would still have to obey God blindly. Why, you ask. Because I'm more afraid of what will happen if I disobey God. So let's ride, God. I'm ready!!!

The Turning Point

2007-12-29T20:25:00.001-08:00

I'm at a scary point in my life. Not that I'm fearful of what's to come, but I completely recognize the power of the moment I'm in right now. I see how pivotal it is. And this moment isn't based on feeling or emotion. It's based on me remembering what God said to me four years ago and holding on to that Word despite what may be occurring in the natural.

The closest thing I can compare this feeling to is being blindfolded and standing near a cliff. You've been told to go right and you know going right is the correct thing to do, but all of a sudden, you feel an overwhelming desire to go left. The only problem with going left (other than being completely and utterly wrong) is it will put you too close to the edge of the cliff. I've been down that cliff. I know it's deep, dark, and lonely. Plus, it takes a long time to get up the valley on the other side of that cliff, and I'm not trying to make that journey if He's not forcing me to. I'm really loving the mountain top where I am right now.

So, why is going right so difficult? I'm glad you ask. Right is difficult because it's not guaranteed that you will get you reward just by going the right way. In fact, going the right direction may even make your journey temporarily more difficult. You see, I know I'm suppose to go right, but I don't know where going right is going to lead me. That leads me to fear the unknown.

When I first began my journey of truly knowing God in every area of my life, that was our difficult area. I never realized it before, but I was a complete control freak. I wanted to know all the details, and I wanted to have the power to make all the decisions. The first thing God told me is, "You have to trust me with the unknown."

I'd like to say I've learned that lesson by now. I think I sorta have, but being at this pivotal point I realized that I still have some fear of the unknown. I know what it is to be blindsided, and I know what it is to truly hurt and if I never felt either emotion again in life that would be too soon. I also know what it feels to have God there for you unconditionally. I know what it's like to have him supernaturally give you strength when you have none of your own. I know what it feels like to have Him hold you when you're all alone and what it feels like to genuinely smile when you don't have a reason too.

At the end of the day, I've been in this place enough times to know what I need to do:

Pray for strength ahead of time. I don't know what there is to come, but God does. My prayer is that He prepares me and strengthens me for whatever stands before me as I make this right turn. I know that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, so whatever awaits me on that right side is not going to be able to take me down despite how big, bad and scary it looks.
Remember what God told me. God is not a man that He should lie, or the son of man that He should repent. If He said it, it shall come to pass. I know what He said, and I'm rolling with that.
Be obedient and love like God does. 'Nough said, right?

I know my God has me through this. I just have to trust Him through this.

Obama's Impact

2007-12-29T20:02:00.000-08:00

We're ready for change!!!

Was Clinton's Experience Faked?

2007-12-26T15:45:00.000-08:00

Hillary Rodham Clinton has tooted her own horn about being the most experienced candidate on the Democratic ticket, but what does her experience really amount to. Below is an article that examines what her experience actually is.

As first lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton jawboned the president of Uzbekistan to leave his car and shake hands with people. She argued with the Czech prime minister about democracy. She cajoled Catholic and Protestant women to talk to one another in Northern Ireland. She traveled to 79 countries in total, little of it leisure; one meeting with mutilated Rwandan refugees so unsettled her that she threw up afterward.

But during those two terms in the White House, Clinton did not hold a security clearance. She did not attend National Security Council meetings. She was not given a copy of the president's daily intelligence briefing. She did not assert herself on the crises in Somalia, Haiti or Rwanda. And during one of President Bill Clinton's major tests on terrorism, whether to bomb Afghanistan and Sudan in 1998, Clinton was barely speaking to her husband, let alone advising him, as the Lewinsky scandal dragged on.

For the rest, click here.

Understanding Christmas

2007-12-26T08:56:00.000-08:00

This Christmas has been a difficult one for me. I remember around Thanksgiving I told my mentee, I hated the Christmas season. Not because I hate Christmas, but because I truly despise everything Christmas has become in our society.

At that time when I thought of Christmas, the image of people knocking each other over and physically fighting for the hottest gift of the season and amounting an excessive amount of credit card debit came to mind. I hate the commercialization of Christmas that has occurred; therefore, I simply made a decision not to participate in it.

In all honesty, I didn't have money to splurge on gifts for everyone either, especially people who wouldn't appreciate or felt as if I had to give them a gift. And pulling out the credit cards to do so was not even an option in my playbook…but then there was Cameron.

I remember my Christmases as a kid, and they were nothing less than magical. I remember the Christmas of 1988 in particular. On this particular Christmas, my sister and I got up at 5:30 am to a living room that resembled Toys 'R Us. We had everything from the newest Barbie and her car to baby strollers, high chairs, and chalk boards. It was such a beautiful day.

I loved the way I felt on that Christmas and every other Christmas in my life. I firmly believe that every child deserves to feel the Christmas magic that I am so familiar with. Let's be real, kids' lives have gotten much more complicated than mine was in 1988. Most of them are unfortunately dealing with adult problems. Don't they deserve a day to escape the reality of their situation and just enjoy, and even indulge in, the magic of Christmas?

That's what I want for every kid. However, my son is a little different. This kid has absolutely everything a child could want and/or imagine. This is a kid who can walk through the mall, see a Wii, make a phone call, and have the money for it in 10 minutes. The logic behind it: he's a good kid; he did good in school; get him the Wii.

Because he has so much stuff the logic in me tells me he doesn't need another thing for Christmas. However, the emotion in me wants to see his face light up when he sees my den running over with toys and looking like a local toy store.

And in the midst of balancing my logic and emotionalism, I really have to stay focused on the true meaning of Christmas—Jesus Christ!!! I know that's not popular to say these days, but in trying to balance the commercialism of the season, have we really forgotten that the whole holiday is about Him choosing to give His life for us?

So in the midst of my internal battle this Christmas, I've been keeping my son focused on the fact that as cliché as it may be, Jesus is the real reason for the season. We've read the Christmas story in a couple different books in the Bible, and we've talked about the importance of giving to others during the Christmas season. I even took it a step further this year and begin to discuss with him why Jesus' birth is so important.

Jesus came to the earth for one purpose: to die for you. Yes, if you had been the only person on the earth, Jesus still would've left His father's side, entered into the earthly realm, suffered the criticism of the church, and died the horrendous death of the cross just for you. As important Jesus dying for all of humanity is, it's just important for each of us to understand he did it for us individually.

The story of Jesus' birth and death are in fact one. It is only because He came, lived, died, and rose again that we have the ability to talk to our heavenly Father through prayer. Without the blood of Jesus, we're not even worthy to come before God in prayer—and can you imagine a life without prayer? I know I can't. In addition, it would be impossible for us to enter eternal peace in heaven without Jesus. It is His blood that cleanses us from our sins and enables us to walk through the pearly gates.

I'm sure Cameron didn't completely understand the concept of Jesus' birth, but I'm positive he received a greater understanding, and I'm sure that he realizes Christmas is about more than Santa Clause. He actually gave Jesus a big Happy Birthday today without having to be reminded or briefed. That made me smile. That made me pleased.

This parenting thing is difficult, but at the end of the day, I think I came up with a pretty good solution. Before Christmas, Cameron pulled toys to give away to less fortunate children. For Christmas he received a nice portion of the things he wanted, but nothing excessive, and most importantly he learned something new about Jesus, and he understands that Jesus expects a gift on his birthday as well.

Our Perspective--Election '08: Catch It On the Back Side

2007-12-19T18:55:00.000-08:00

Missed our Perspective on all things Election '08???

Don't worry...check out the archives at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/perspectivetalk/2007/12/17/Election-08-1.

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Clinton vs. Obama on Experience

2007-12-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Barack Obama has been catching a lot a flack on his "lack of experience"--especially from the Clintons. Bill was interviewed by Charlie Rose where he called Barack a "risk" due to his lack of experience. In response to the Clintons' criticism, Senator Obama quoted the former President himself from the 1992 presidential debate. I must say former President Clinton was correct in 1992, and his words still hold true in context of Senator Barack Obama today. Here's Bill in his own words today. Below is how ABC reported Obama's response.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalradar/2007/12/obama-grilled-o.html:

On Bill Clinton’s Charlie Rose interview: Obama was asked to respond to Bill Clinton’s interview last night on Charlie Rose in which he attacked Obama’s experience level, asking when was the last time we elected a president with only a year of service in the Senate.

Obama turned Bill Clinton’s own words around on him: “Well look, this is an argument they have been making during the duration of this campaign, I guess. Here is a quote: ‘The same old experience isn't relevant. You can have right kind of experience or the wrong kind of experience, and mine is rooted in the real lives of real people and it will bring real results if we have the courage to change’ -- and that was Bill Clinton in 1992. And I’ve been involved in government for over a decade, so the notion that there is a particular kind of experience that he has had or his wife has had that is more relevant I would dispute.”

TI Preaching to the Parents

2007-12-14T21:00:00.000-08:00

And the church says, AMEN!!!

Most Committed Dec. 9-14th: Obama Campaigners in Iowa

2007-12-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

It's hard to find anyone committed to anything these. But For Real Though is searching out those individuals who are committed and dedicated to someone, something, ANYTHING!!! This weeks award goes to Obama campaigners in Iowa!!! Cold or not, they're on fire for Obama right now!!!

Iowa is on fire with for Obama, right now. It takes a lot to stand out in the freezing cold for a candidate. You have to really believe in their message. These campaigners get the coveted "Most Committed Award" for Dec 9-14th.

Life is Like Math

2007-11-29T13:44:00.000-08:00

Life is a lot like math…as long as you know the principle and equations, you can solve the problem—no matter how complicated it appears to be.

I got into a slight altercation with a friend this weekend because I criticized someone's actions regarding their marriage. I'm not sure if she felt I was trying to be a "know-it-all" or if she just found me unqualified to make the statement since I'm not married, but the conversation ended with her saying, "What do you know? Where's your husband?"

That was suppose to go for the jugular, but at some point the truth stops hurting, so I just laughed it off. However, the whole incident did get me to thinking. Did my lack of marital experience real disqualify me from giving sound marital advice?

I've always been taught that you should act like where you want to be because ultimately you attract what you put out. (On the real, do you want to see how you appear to other people? Look at your circle of friends. That's what people think of you—good, bad, or ugly). Based on this teaching, when I decided I wanted to get married, I went to my guidebook for life (the Bible) and began studying the principles it laid out for marriage. Thus every belief and idea I have on marriage is based on what the Bible says it should be.

I say all of this to say, as great as practical experience may be, having the right answers isn't the key to life if you don't know how to do the work to solve the problem. You know you heard that in math classes. High level math books always have the answers in the back of the book, but writing those answers never guarantee you an A in the class. You have to prove that you have a comprehension of the principles behind the problem.

I'm confident that I can handle any situation life throws at me. Not because I have previous experience in every particular situation, but because I have an understanding of God's principles of life. Whatever problem that comes up in my life, I simply pull out my guidebook, apply the correct principle, and solve the problem accordingly. Sounds pretty simple, right?

So the next time you ask me for advice, please don't think I'm trying to be a "know-it-all" or even Dr. Phil. I'm not. I'm simply sharing with you the principles of God that I live by. They work for me, and they've work for millions before me, so I'm sure they will work for you if you work them.

Today's Tips

You want to go to a different place in life or take on a different role? Learn God's principles for that position. God lays out principles for every imaginable situation in the Bible. It's just up to you to read and learn the principles.

While the Bible should be your foundation for learning life's principles, don't be afraid to pick up other materials—just make sure is doesn't contradict God's Word. God's Word and principles are true and should not be supplemented with contradictory materials. For example, the Bible states that we should all be honest in our business dealings, so if another resources states that business men may have to bend the truth in business dealings, you should immediately reject that work because it contradicts what God has said about the issue.

Take the time to read and learn God's principles. I feel prepared for life because every day I read God's Word and study more principles. Therefore, I know how to handle life when it comes at me. Trust me, when I don't indulge in the Word before life grabs a hold of me, I feel like crap, and the results are usually crap as well.

As you prepare to vote in the upcoming election, ask yourself, "Who is principled enough to make the right decision in every situation?"

Boys, Let’s Man Up and Grow a Pair (of Balls that Is)

2007-11-20T20:29:00.000-08:00

Do you want to know how ignorant people in America are? Read the comments following blogs and online news postings. Ok, so here's how the story plays out. Rapper Saigon had some sort of altercation with hip hop group Mobb Deep. Apparently, he decided it was best that he hit and run, LITERALLY!!! Janee Bolden interviewed him for her Sirrus radio show, where Saigon brags about punching "a lot of rappers in their face." Janee follows up with the snide remark, "Then you run." That set Saigon off, and he began to talk mad crap to her. He even went as far to threaten to beat her down. But that's not the worse part.

As I read the comments, I was extremely disturbed by the fact that numerous negroes seem to think it's justifiable to put their hands on a woman. The comments were crazy!!!

"Whoever thinks that a man should NEVER come at a female is obviously not from any big city, hood or anything similar. He felt disrespected, what did you want him to to. If he didnt say anything you would writing an article on how he's a pu$$y and this and that. Being a female does not give you the right to do and say as you please. GET REAL"

I guess I missed the memo, but when did it become ok to put your hands on a woman under any circumstances. I agree, some chicks can get out of pocket and push negroes to their limit, but last time I checked REAL MEN walk away, run away, or do whatever it takes to get the hell out of dodge. Any man who would lay his hands on a woman, despite the circumstances, is not a man, has no respect for himself, and needs to up his self-esteem. That's disrespect at the highest. Yes, women should not push men button or hit men, etc. But a man is nothing if he puts his hands on a woman. And one who tries to justify it is even less. Grow the hell up, negroes, and learn some respect. GROW SOME BALLS AND START ACTING LIKE REAL MEN!!!

Check out the clip here.

Look Past Your Emotions & Stay Focused

2007-11-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

Emotions are a mug. And if you're not very careful, they will rule your every move before you know it. There was a time when my emotions were in complete control of me. I was going through serious relationship drama, and I was HURTING—not just hurting, but HURTING…that Mary J. Blige "I'm Going Down" type HURTING!!!

During this time, I had come to know God's plans for my life, and every bone in my body desired accomplish His plans. Unfortunately, the HURTING that I was doing seemed to trump my desire to accomplish God's plans for me. It wasn't my lack of desire that was the problem. It was my lack of control over my emotions. See, it's hard to do anything productive when you are crying 23 hours a day and your eyes are red and nearly swollen shut. It's also difficult to be productive when you are thinking of all the ways you could ruin someone's existence if you were really "that type of girl." And while I didn't want to be consumed by my HURT and anger, I didn't know how to control these emotions so I could stay focused.

I remember I used pray, "God, I promise I'll do your will, but just fix this situation, so I can focus on what You want me to do." Every day, I cried and prayed this prayer, and every day my situation and problems stayed the same (or got worse). For awhile I was confused. Did God not hear my prayers?

I soon came to learn that it wasn't that God didn't hear my prayers. He had heard me the first time I prayed. But God was trying to teach me a lesson. God wanted me to learn to focus through my emotions. The Bible makes it clear in Psalm 34:19 that "many are the afflictions of the righteous," but if you don't stress and trust God "the Lord will deliver [you] out of them all."

Looking back, I understand that my relationship snafu wasn't all that serious. But the enemy had created the drama to distract me. At that point in my life, the enemy knew if he sent a little man drama, I would be too caught up to work on growing my business. I would be too preoccupied to spend time learning God's Word. I would be too worried to spend time in prayer. And with all of this "unfocusness," I could never reach the place God had promised me.

One of my spiritual mentors brought greater understanding last week. The enemy is attacking the body of Christ with spiritual ADD. satan (I refuse to ever capitalize his name even if it does come at the beginning of a sentence. he just doesn't deserve that much recognition ;-)) knows just what to do to cause us to lose focus on God and His plan for our lives. The enemy throws our emotions so out of whack that we feel like we can't control them. Fortunately, I've learned as bad as it hurts, as angry as you become, and as depressed as you feel, you must not let those feelings come between you and your God-given destiny. You must be able to stay focused.

To the surprise of many, focus is not dependent upon your feelings. Focus is a decision you make, despite how you feel, to accomplish a task. Focus means you work when you don't feel like it, you pray when your sleepy, you read the Bible when you just want to get in the bed, you sing praises when you feel your world is ending, and you cry when you have time.

True, it's good to get your emotions out, but it's only good when you do it at the right time. Put your emotions on a schedule. Don't allow your emotional breakdowns to stop you from working, paying your bills, praising God, and walking out your destiny. Work during the day and cry out night. Stay focused, despite how you feel, to ensure you reach your God-given destiny. I know I am.

Left All Only

2007-10-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

The fact that I feel all alone has really been bothering me lately. I know I've spoken before of feeling like my friends and people just don't understand me, but this has been a different type of alone. I really can't say that my hell (my troubles in life) has gotten worse, but they feel different. It feels like I'm running a marathon. You know when you only have five minutes left, but every bone in your body is telling you to stop now. I feel like I'm at the end of hell. I can see the finish line and my promise, but my energy is faltering to the point that I'm wondering if I will even make it to the finish line.

As I struggled with finding the strength to make it to my finish line, a scripture came to mind:

""Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them."

--Matthew 20:18-20

That was my key. All I needed to do was find someone to come into agreement with me, and then I would be sure to reach the finish line (and my promise). Once I found a prayer partner, everything would be tied up neatly with a bow. Unfortunately, finding a prayer partner wasn't that easy of a task.

I know and respect some true cover my family with the Blood, snot flying, crying, praying women. But I don't know any of them well enough to call them up and ask them to pray for me, and I truly didn't feel comfortable revealing the most inner secrets of my soul to them. So they were out of the picture.

Next, I went down the list of my "close" friends. Now, don't get me wrong, I love each and every one of my peeps. They each serve their purpose, and my life would be void without them. I just don't see any of them as my prayer partners. As "close" as we are, they really don't know ANYTHING about the journey God's been taking me on for the past four years, so how could I get them to agree with God's will for my life. I've tried to explain my situation to them before, but it either went over their heads or they tried to discourage me from doing what I know God told me to do. At first my feelings were hurt, but then I became grateful. God gave me a whole 'nother revelation of who the enemy (devil) was through these situations. Jesus' telling Peter to "get behind me satan" (Matthew 16:23 and Mark 8:33) made so much more sense. The devil can use your friends, who usually have the best intentions, to detour you from your destiny. Some of you need to check your friends because satan is running all up and through them to mess you up, but that's another story.

Back to the subject at hand, once my folks were out of the picture, I was left with my son. Now, he's absolutely amazing. At the age of seven, he has a wonderful understanding of God and who He is in our daily lives. I'm so proud of him. He was amazing for the first week and a half, but then he got mad at me, said I didn't like him, and refused to pray with me. LOL, you gotta know (and love) my kid. As great of a prayer partner my kid was, it had been determined that he wasn't dependable. But would any pray partner be completely dependable? Could I count on anyone to be there for me all the time?

The answer to that question was a definite no. Sometimes in life you're just going to be alone—even when you're in a crowded room. I learned that the day before my kid resigned from praying with me. I was in church, a church with about 7,000 other people, when my pastor told us to get a partner. Why did everyone in around me have a partner but me? I felt so odd. I mean, how can I come to church and still not find a partner to believe with me. If I was crazy, I would think God didn't want me to touch and agree and get my promise.

For awhile, I would find Christian and gospel songs that spoke to my situation to pray with. They would be the partner that would ensure Jesus was in my midst. And that worked great. But as I took a mentorship course, I got a greater understanding of what was going on. The minister talked about Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46). Jesus was facing His biggest trial (the cross), and He picked His closets and most spiritually mature friends to go to Gethsemane and pray with Him. For some reason the disciples just couldn't do it. They kept falling asleep.

As my teacher told this story, it clicked in my mind. I'M LIKE JESUS!!! I thought. No not in the sinless, perfect way, but in the fact that Jesus couldn't find anyone to pray with Him and neither could I. Jesus made it through His trials with only His prayers, so I could too. Jesus received His reward without prayer partners, so I could too.

As I grabbed a hold of the fact that I was in good company, my teacher gave a deeper explanation for my inability to find partnership at this point in my life. "You can't find anyone to pray with you because the level you're about to go [to] is not their grade," she stated. "They can't sustain your level of intercession. Your friends can't sustain in this level."

Good, bad, happy, or sad, my people aren't where I am right now. I don't say that to be arrogant. I believe everyone is where they work to be, and I've sacrificed and paid tremendous cost to have the relationship that I presently have with God. And the reality of the situation is they just aren't with me so they can't help me. I mean what kind of sense would it make for a 12^th grader to ask for help on calculus from your average 5^th grade. NONE!!! So why would I look to people who aren't working to get to where I am spiritually to help me stand on the things of God.

In reality, this situation wasn't about my friends or about me finding a suitable prayer partner. It was about God telling me, "You're going to get through this with Me and Me alone. For I will never leave you or forsake you."

Verse of the Day: "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." –Hebrews 13:5

Song of the Day: "On the Other Side of Through" by James Bignon

Lessons Learned: 1) Everyone, no matter how good they are or how much you love them, can't go with you. You have to leave some people behind or they're going to stop you from reaching your goal.

2) No matter how alone you may feel, God is ALWAYS there. Lucky for you, He's all you need to make it through your trial and to get to your promise.

Do Good; God Has Your Back

2007-10-11T22:03:00.000-07:00

The days after Hurricane Katrina were hard on me. I had been an emotional wreck for awhile due to some personal issues I had going on. My finances were a complete wreck, and I just felt all alone in the world. I had been crying and wallowing in pity during the weeks preceding Katrina. It just felt like I had been in that miserable, awful place for way too long, and I wanted God to come and rescue me. "Hadn't I suffered enough?" I had repeatedly asked God.

Hurricane Katrina snapped me out of my self-pity. See, to me, my situation was the absolutely worse. No, my problems weren't the worse ones in the world, but they were my greatest fears all coming upon me at once, and that is what was killing me. But after Hurricane Katrina, I could no longer concentrate on my pitiful situation.

Hurricane Katrina was the straw that broke the camel's back. It put me face to face with people who were fighting for their lives and the lives of their children. They had basically been dropped in the midst of hell, complete chaos, with no food or water. For me to watch thousands of people suffering with seemingly no one coming to their aid made me physically ill. I was disgusted that my country, the greatest nation on this earth, would allow its people to suffer so unnecessarily. In the midst of my pain, disgust, and confusion, I actually walked out of my job and sat on the curb. I needed to be alone. I needed to talk to God.

As I sat in the parking lot, I cried and questioned God. "Why was this happening? Why was no one trying to help?" In the midst of talking to God about what was happening on the Gulf Coast, my mind went back to my problems. In that moment it seemed the entire world was in chaos. Why was God allowing the whole world to go crazy at one time?

In that moment, God told me that I didn't have to worry about my problems.

"But why?" I asked. "I can't pay my bills."

"If you take care of my work, I'll take care of you."

That statement stuck with me. If I would go about handling God's business, He would handle my business. Jesus discussed this concept in Matthew 6:25-34, where He encourages His followers not to worry about the day to day cares of life. Jesus goes on to explain how well God cares for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field, and if God meets their needs, why wouldn't He meet yours as well.

Acts 10:38 speaks of how God anointed Jesus and He went about doing good. That same anointing rests on you. You have the power to do good for God's kingdom, and in return He will take care of all your daily worries.

Plus, if you concern yourself with helping others, you really won't have the time or energy to obsess over the issues in your life that God is already handling. Try not worrying and instead help someone else today and see what God does in your life.

I'm a Civil Rights Leader!!! You Should Be One Too!!!

2007-10-01T16:22:00.000-07:00

I may not have a perm (anymore) like Al Sharpton, and I can't come up with clever rhyming phrases like Jessie Jackson, but I do have win in my corner for the 21st Century Civil Rights Movement.

I was watching CNN: Special Investigation Judgement in Jena (excellent journalism. It was a week old though. This DVR thing is da bomb. My kid would kill me for saying that. Yes, I am now the mom who says uncool stuff while trying to be cool, but back to the subject.) when the reporter, Kyra Phillips, I believe, reported that a Neo-Nazi group had published personal information of the Jena 6 and was encouraging its members to "show them justice." I was appalled, yet my nosey (or journalistic, you pick) side got the best of me. I went to the website, and thankfully the website had been shut down. However, I was able to find the information on a blog.

I immediately emailed a nice, respectful letter to the site owner, and asked that they remove it. I even threw in some legal mumbo jumbo. One letter was cool, but I knew mass responses get people moving. I thought twice about my next step because I know how people feel about "junk mail," but I thought this was worth the risk of pissing a couple of people off. So I emailed list serves that I'm a member of and asked them to do the same. Within 6 hours the blog had been removed.

I was pretty proud of myself. At the same time, I was disappointed. I couldn't have been the first person to see this information and been disgusted by it. Why hadn't people made moves to remove it before hand? Only God knows the answer to that.

I say all of this to say getting involved really isn't that hard and it doesn't take that much time. It took me a total of 15 minutes to write my letter and email over 1,000 people. Don't let injustices happen around you. I used this as an opportunity to teach my son that you shouldn't be afraid to get involved and stand up for right. If not you, who? If not now, when? I hope all who read this gets that message and make moves on it.

While this isn't my first move and it won't be my last. I'm too crunk right about now. It's amazing to see the fruits of your labor blossom and ripe. This was a quick and easy victory, but I know most victories won't be that easy or quick. However, I am willing to stand and fight despite for the duration of the battle, and I encourage you to do the same.

On a lower note, the blog was restarted at a different address. While new hate messages have been posted, none of them can be seen as threatening at this point. But you best believe as soon as they slip up and print something that could seriously put individuals and groups in danger, I will be all on it and I will be encouraging you to do the same.

I love all you guys, and I encourage you to get involved, stand for right, correct the wrongs, and make a difference in your world today.

kiasmith.blogspot.com
butforrealthough.blogspot.com

An Open Letter to Jena, LA

2007-09-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Jena, La.,

As a citizen of the United States of America, I have been very disappointed by the recent events that have taken place in Jena. As a 25 year old woman, I have never witnessed such deliberate, disrespectful and derogatory acts of injustice.

What I found most disgusting about the entire situation is that legal professionals elected to defend the citizens of Jena, La., are using the very laws that were designed to protect citizens in a sadistic effort to unfairly prosecute them and take away their promising futures.

I’ve read reports of Jena residents asking “outsiders” to stay out of Jena’s business, and I have news: we wish we could stay out of Jena’s business. But based upon the events that have occurred, Jena has proven that it is unable to take care of its own business without some outside encouragement.

And please understand that’s the only reason we are coming to Jena—to encourage individuals to act justly. We do not want this to appear as a rally of blacks against whites, but a rally for justice. And as soon as Jena decides to begin acting justly toward all individuals involved, we promise to step back and leave Jena to take care of its business. However, we will not fear journeying back into Jena’s territory if injustice rears its ugly head again.

As we prepare our PEACEFUL rally for justice, we invite all individuals (blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, Native Americans, etc.) to take a stand for justice. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” and we are refusing to let Jena’s injustices affect the justice of America.

Put yourself in the shoes of the Jena 6. What if these were your sons or daughters? If the legal system was being unreasonable harsh and unarguably unfair in prosecuting your children, wouldn’t you want someone to stand up and speak out? Well, tomorrow that’s what we plan on doing for the Jena 6.

It amazes me that Jena residents and prosecutors thought America would sit by quietly as they unfairly prosecuted these six young men. And you almost got your wish, as major media outlets ignored the issue for awhile and few, if any, outlets are fully reporting ALL of the racially motivated events that occurred before the arrest of the Jena 6 (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuoiZnr4jLY). But America will no longer be quiet. My generation will no longer be a sleeping giant that sits quietly as the powers that be make decisions that affect our lives.

So as America converges upon your town on this historic Thursday, September 20th, please understand that we are coming out of love. First Corinthians 13:6 states, “[Love] does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.” We want right and truth to prevail, and we won’t stop watching Jena until right and truth prevail.

In Love and Peace,

Kia Smith
kiagsmith@aol.com
Atlanta, Ga.

Diddy's Side Chick Speaks

2007-09-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

http://blogs.sohh.com/ya_heard/2007/09/earlier_this_we.html

Where were you 6 years ago?

2007-09-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

I was on I-20 going to my 9:25 class (as a sophomore I was smart enough not to have a 8am one, LOL). Ryan Cameron came on the radio with this super serious tone in his voice. I immediately knew something was wrong. Ryan was never that serious. "A plane hit the World Trade Center..." My mouth dropped open just as I was pulling off the Ashby St. exit (you're not ole skool if you don't know where Ashby is). "It's a terrorist attack," I immediately thought.

I went to class that day, but I honestly can't remember any of the details. I remember walking out of Cosby and seeing my lil SpelBound sister crying. Her dad worked in the Pentagon, and she couldn't get in contact with him. I wish I could say I said something super comforting or wise, but I don't remember saying anything. I just remember staring blankly. She was the first person I knew personally who was being affected by this tragedy. All of a sudden, it wasn't a terrorist attack. It was an attack on my friends.

After that I went to Morehouse, I further stared in awe. I watched men who I had consider so strong and resilent break down and cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Like everyone else I spent the remainder of the day in front of the television in awe, hypnotized by the repeat coverage. The journalist in me wanted to see more. I knew there was so much going on that they were showing, that they weren't saying, I wanted to see and hear that.

Surprisingly, I never felt fear. I had this wierd internal peace. I knew my world was changing for the worse that day, but I never feared it. Maybe I was super strong. Maybe I was super numb. Either way, I learned that day that you never truly know how you will react to a situation until you live it.

God Bless America! We need it!

An Everlasting Love

2007-08-09T07:23:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I’m a perfectionist especially when it comes to pleasing God. I am my biggest critic when it comes to “falling short of His glory.” God does so much for me on a daily basis, so I strive to please Him in return. I know I can never pay Him back for all He’s done in my life, but I also know that my obedience and sacrifice to Him exhibit my gratefulness.

Honestly speaking, starting my day off with prayer isn’t that hard? So why is it so difficult for me to get up 30 minutes earlier to spend time in prayer? And telling a lie isn’t necessary? So why did lying about something as petty as where I was seem like such a necessity at the time? I know I’m going to feel like crap afterwards, so why not just do the right thing?

I spend so much time thinking about where I’ve messed up and what I could do better that sometimes it’s hard for me to just remember that God loves me. It’s ridiculous that I would spend an entire worship service asking for God’s forgiveness instead of expressing my love for Him and basking in His love for me. But it’s kind of hard to express love to and receive love from someone when you don’t think your deserve it. I when I focus all my energy on my shortcomings, it’s hard for me to feel like I deserve God’s love.

Thank God today was different. As I sat in worship service today, I didn’t even considered where I had messed up or what I could do better in my life. I just thanked God for loving me, for choosing me, for wanting me. It felt soooooo good just to love on God and have Him love on me, without considering the former things.

It’s amazing to fathom, but God knew every mistake and shortfall I was going to encounter long before they crossed my path. He wasn’t surprised when I messed up or was disobedient. He didn’t love me any less. And the first time I offered Him a true, repentant apologize, He forgave me…no questions asked, never to be remembered again. So if God has forgotten my mistakes, who am I to keep reminding Him of them?

I’m not trying to justify sin. And I’m not trying to excuse the behavior that you KNOW you never should have gotten caught up in. But I’m stressing that NOTHING can separate you from the love of God.

You’re not perfect, nor will you ever be. But God’s love is. God’s love is unconditional. It’s everlasting. And it’s unbreakable. Know that, believe that, and live that. Take the time to thank Him for being an awesome and wonderful God. Take the time to thank Him for being faithful and committed to you. And take the time to thank Him for loving you, in spite of the mistakes you make.

Bible Verse of the Day
“For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

--Romans 8:38-39 (Amplified Bible)

Task of the Day
1) Spend 10 minutes today, just thanking God for His unconditional, never ending love for you.

2) Still not convinced that God loves you no matter what? Stand in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and say “God loves me!” Repeat seven times, or until you believe it without a shadow of a doubt.

My Celebrity Look-alikes

2007-03-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Your Just Reward

2007-01-29T09:58:00.000-08:00

Every now and then you see someone reach the top of the mountain who just wasn’t suppose to make it. Based upon society’s unrealistic standards, they’re not pretty enough, not tall enough, not thin enough, not white enough, not black enough. The list goes on and on. That’s what made Chandra Wilson recognition and acceptance speech so beautiful and monumental. Based on society’s standards, she wasn’t suppose to make it big. But there she stands, being recognized by that society. Dreams do come true, and everyone eventually receives their just reward.

http://us.video.aol.com/video.full.adp?mode=0&pmmsid=1828761&referer=http%3A//television.aol.com/franchise/top5.adp

Words of Wisdom #1

2007-01-26T14:23:00.000-08:00

I got an email from someone to they, and this quote was in their signature line. I thought it was really powerful and wanted to share. I would elaborate, but I believe the quote itself speaks volumes.

"Never make someone a priority if they've only made you an option."--unknown.

My Investor

2007-01-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

I’m really proud of myself. Yesterday, I received some devastating news—at least to me it was. Let’s just imagine, you knew you were going to get a million bucks from an investor. He had given you his word, and he had always been faithful to his word, but you wake up and find out from a secondary sources that he had given $500,000 away. Now you could worry, get concerned, wonder if most of his budget had been spent, and consider what would happen if this investment went bad. Or you could choose to trust the word of your investor.

Well, my Investor gave me a promise years ago. And I know that I know that now is the time for me to actually receive that promise, but yesterday, I found out that my Investor had given part of my promise away. For the record, this isn’t the first time this has happen. In fact, it’s more like the 356,567,492,403th time, LOL. Usually, my reaction is the same. I cry, scream, question whether my Investor ever said and promised what I thought He did, and pray for a quick, clear sign. This time though, I CHOSE to react differently. Instead of crying, screaming, and questioning, I picked up the phone, called my Investor, and thanked Him for what He was about to do in my life. I wrote Him and thank you note, I went to thank Him in person, and even turned on a couple of CDs and began to sing thanks to Him, LOL (He appreciated it even though I can’t sang).

I say “I chose” because it was a decision and a choice to react differently than I usually did. I felt like crying, I wanted to scream, I had million questions to ask and doubt was swimming in my mind. But I made the proactive decision to react differently. I chose to rejoice instead of crying. I chose to praise instead of scream. I chose to trust the last Word my Investor had given me instead of questioning and doubting.

And after I made the decision, before I received the promise, guess what I did? I started planning. I started researching, writing, and organizing what I was going to do with the investment. I set aside time and energy to ensure that the investment would be used properly. That way, when I get my promise, I will be prepared to move on full speed ahead, and my Investor won’t be disappointed in me. He will never regret the fact that He invested in me.

What if you don’t get the investment He promised? What if there’s not enough left? My answer: Impossible. My Investor is faithful and true to His Word. He won’t renege on His promise to me, and His riches won’t ever run out. While Master P may have gold-plated ceilings, my Investors has gold-paved (not plated) streets.

What about what He gave the other person? So…that’s not my business. What my Investor has for me is for me. No one can take that from me, and He definitely wouldn’t give it away. So obviously, that little bit that the other person got wasn’t for me, and I’m to much a queen to fight over chump change and pennies. I want the millions or nothing at all.

Well, why did you have thank Him so much? While most people would have been annoyed by my multiple and excessive thanks, He wasn’t. He was just as proud as I was that I didn’t need physical proof to trust Him and believe what He had said. He was ecstatic that I was so grateful for His gift, His investment, even before I received it. Hey, my many thanks just may have made Him want to invest more in my life or give me my investment even sooner than He originally scheduled.

My Investor is going to invest in me because I am His child and He promised me He would. My only responsibility is to take the investment and invest in others.

Isn't It Ironic...Don't You Think

2007-01-08T14:54:00.000-08:00

The ironic thing about really choosing to walk with God is your life doesn’t get trouble-free overnight. In fact, it often gets worst. I was once told, “The devil doesn’t have any reason to bother you when you’re playing on his team.” But when you’re in the midst of going through hell that doesn’t really make you feel better. In fact, it can make you question why you ever left his team. So what do you do? You have a pity party of course.

I used to cry that real ugly and dramatic cry, where mascara’s running everywhere, snot is dripping down your nose, and your eyes swell shut. The key to this cry is to do it in front of the bathroom mirror so you can see how bad you look and feel even sorrier for yourself. And you absolutely have to top the cry off with your pleas to God. “I just don’t understand, God. I try to do everything you say. I go to church. Why won’t you just fix it, God?”

Sidebar (Yes, I stole this from my friend’s Austin’s blog. Glad to see you’re back buddy.): Once, I got soooo mad at God, I threw a phone at Him. You had to be there. It would have been straight Comicview to watch, but I was pissed off at the time. I bet God was laughing hysterically at me.

Every time life’s situations would start getting a little tight, I would stress to the point that I would become physically sick and unable to function. The crazy part is each and every time, God would always come through for me in the ninth hour, and everything would work out perfectly, even more perfect than I could have ever imagine.

Eventually, I got tired of stressing and making myself ill. I got to the point where I would say, “Alright, God. I’m going to do everything I possible can to make this right, but honestly, I can’t fix it. If you don’t get involved, it won’t work out right.” And then I did everything possible not to stress out about it. And just as before, during the ninth hour, everything would work out.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been stressing out about work. I have to complete a 6-week project in about 3 weeks, and I really don’t have that much cooperation in doing so. Instead of stressing, I decided to give it to God and see what He could do with it. I did what I could, but things just weren’t working out. I didn’t have enough freelance writers to finish the project on time and it looked like the whole project was going to crash and burn. And then at the very last minute, things just started falling into place. Writers from as far as Delaware started contacting me, and today, it finally looks like things are going to work out perfectly.

Lesson Learned: Times will get hard, significantly harder once you start living for God. But He always has your back. He has promised to always bring His kids out on top no matter what situation they find themselves in. His Word says that the righteous are never forsaken and no weapon formed against His kids will prosper (Psalm 37:25 & Isaiah 54:17). So if God has given you His Word believe it. He can’t lie (Numbers 23:19), so don’t stress out. Nothing in life is worth stressing out about. Give it to God and He will work it all out.

Watch This!!!

2007-01-06T21:24:00.000-08:00

Television shows with people who look like me are few and far in between. Yes, you can catch New York on VH1 acting a fool, and there are a good number of half-naked women shaking their butts on BET and MTV who my favor me. There are even a couple of comedies that I love with beautiful black women and men. (Sidebar: I absolutely love UPN's The Game, Girlfriends, and All of Us). You will even find some wonderful actors playing great roles on Grey's Anatomy, ER, and other good dramas. But have you noticed that their aren't any good television dramas focused around the African American community. I am so proud to announce that those days are over. And it is one of my Spelman sisters who is responsible for bring this era to an end.

Kathleen McGee-Anderson, Spelman College class of 1972, is no stranger to the film industry. McGee-Anderson worked as a writer and consulting producer for Showtime's Soul Food, the longest running Black dramatic series in television history. She was also an original writer and consulting producer for the Lifetimes series Any Day Now and worked with the series 413 Hope Street and Touched by an Angel.

McGee-Anderson is now the producer of Lincoln Heights, the only black family drama (that I know of) on television today. The show debuts Monday, January 8 on ABC Family at 7pm EST. Please check this show out and support my sister, your sister, our sister.

Why Can't We See Past Entertainmnet

2007-01-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting in Tires Plus trying to get my tire repaired, and I'm watching the news with some people who are significantly older than me. I'm not sure how the conversation got directed to the presidency, but the gentleman next to me stated how he wished Stevie Wonder would run for president.

Stevie Wonder??? What qualifies Stevie Wonder to run for President of the United States. The lady next to him frowned up, and said, "I never thought about him as President."

"Either him or Denzel Washington," said the gentleman.

I was really thrown a back. During a time when a Black man, Barack Obama, really has a chance at taking the White House, this dude is looking to Hollywood to run our nation.

Now, I dropped the ball on ths one. I could have simply said, "I think Barack Obama would be a good choice for president." But I didn't. I chose not to educate my people. If we don't educate each other, who will? No one else is trying to empower people who look like me.

With that said I challenge you to do two things: 1) take the time and energy to share what you know with someone else. It could change their life and the world we live in. 2) Turn off BET, MTV and E! and turn on CNN, Fox, or C-Span and expand your knowledge of the world we live in.

That's just my $0.08.

The Soundtrack to My Life

2007-01-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

This is the hottest post to hit in a minute, and It was soooo much fun.

Opening Credits:
“Take Me As I Am” Mary J. Blige

Waking Up:
Coco Brother and The Spirit of Hip Hop on WHTA Atlanta Hot 107.9 or online at www.hot1079atl.com
"Lovely Day”
"Survivor" Destiny’s Child—For those rough days

Getting Dressed:
“Dope Boi Fresh” Attic Crew feat. T.I.
"In The Club (remix)" Beyonce
“Jumpin’, Jumpin’ (remix)” Destiny’s Child
“PYT” Michael Jackson—That was our jam, Dawn.

First Day At School:
“Young, Gifted, and Black” Aretha Franklin
"Jump" Kriss Kross
The Kids Incorporated Theme Song

Graduating:“Before I Let Go” Frankie Beverly and Maze

Crushing:
“Sweet Thang” Mary J. Blige
“Upgrade U” Beyonce
“U Got It Bad” Usher
"Goin' Make You Love Me" Murphy Lee

Ghetto Love:
“Danger” Erykah Badu
"Hood Boy" Fantasia
"Roughneck" MC Light
"Soldier" Destiny's Child
"Grills" Nelly--Yes, I think grills can (as in "have the potential" to be sexy)
“Bonnie & Clyde” Tupac
“’03 Bonnie & Clyde” Jay-Z & Beyonce

Not Giving Up the Goodies:“Goodies” Ciara
“Let’s Wait Awhile” Janet Jackson

Falling In Love: “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” Aerosmith
“And I’m Telling You” Jennifer Holiday
"I Love You" Lenny Williams--Classic
"Prototype" Andre 3000
"Dangerously in Love" Beyonce'
“Still In Love” Teena Marie
“Want U” Eryka Badu

Feeling Cocky:
“So Good” Destiny’s Child

Fight Song:
"Hit ‘Em Up” Tupac—The Ulitmate Fight Song
“Woman to Woman”—Say it ain’t a fight song if you want to.
"Knuck if you Buck" Crime Mobb
"I Ain't Never Scared (remix)" Bone Crusher feat. T.I. & Killer Mike
"Head Bussa” Lil Scrappy
"Get on My Level" Trillville
“Ring the Alarm” Beyonce

Breaking Up:
"I Used to Love Him" Lauryn Hill and Mary J. Blige
"Enough Cryin’” Mary J. Blige
“I’m Not Gonna Cry” Mary J. Blige
"Ex Factor" Lauryn Hill—This had perfect timing in my life.
"Free Yourself" Fantasia
"I'm Going Down" Mary J. Blige
“I Still Luv You” T.I.
"You Don't Have to Call" Usher
"Breakdown"- Mariah Carey & Bone

Getting Back Together:
"Let's Stay Together" Lyfe
"My First Love" Ke Ke Wyatt and Avant
"My Boo" Usher & Alicia Keyes
“We Belong Together” Mariah Carey
“Be Without You” Aaliyah

Getting My Hustle On:
“I Can’t Quit” T.I.
“Motivation” T.I.
“U Don’t Know” Jay-Z
“Survivor” Destiny’s Child
“ReAkshon” Killer Mike feat. T.I. & Bun B

Ballin’:
“What You Know About That” T.I.
“Big Pimpin’” Jay-Z
“Real Big” Big Tymers
“Bling” Lil Wayne
“We Fly High (remix)” Jim Jones featuring T.I., Young Dro, Diddy, Juelz Santana, and Bird Man
“Money Ain’t A Thang” Jay-Z and J.D.

Hard Times:
“Yesterday” Mary, Mary
“Keep Your Head” Kirk Franklin
“I Understand” Smokie Norful
“You Are Not Forgotten” Israel Houghtin & New Breed
“No Weapon” Fred Hammond
“Praise Is What I Do”
“A Brighter Day” George Huff
“Just a Prayer Away”
"Runaway Love" Ludacris feat. Mary J. Blige

Touching Heaven:
“I Love The Lord” Whitney Houston

Driving:
"85" Young Bloodz"
Riding Dirty" Chamillionaire

Flashback:
"Silly of Me" Deniece Williams (had to look her name up) (WAY BACK)

Reflection:
"That’s Life” Killer Mike—YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS!!!
“Peepin’ in My Window” Goodie Mob
"Can't Be Life" Jay Z, Scarface, Beenie Siegel
“Why” Jadakiss feat. Anthony Hamilton
“Brenda’s Got A Baby” Tupac
“Thug Holiday” Trick Daddy—I don’t care what y’all say, Trick Daddy Dollars is deep.
“Doing My Job” T.I.
“Still Ain’t Forgave Myself” T.I.
“Prayin’ For Help” T.I.
“Prayer” Rick Ross
“Soon You’re Understand” Jay-Z

Wedding:
"At Last” Etta James
“My Love” Justin Timberlake & T.I.
"You Put a Move on My Heart" Tamia
"Happily Ever After" Case
“You’re All I Need” Method Man & Mary J. Blige—I told you I was ghetto

Amazing Hot Sex Scene:
“Lost Without You” Robin Thick
“Freak N U” Jodeci
“So Anxious” Ginuwine
“Warmth” Janet Jackson
“Feenin” Jodeci
"I Get So Lonely" Janet Jackson
"Greatest Sex" R.Kelly
"Say Yes” Floetry
“Stingy” Ginuwine

Birth of Child:
"Zion” Lauryn Hill
“Forever My Lady” Jodeci—“So you’re having my baby, and that means so much to me”…I’m kinda ghetto, LOL.

Dramatic Climax Scene/Dénouement:
"Coming of Age" Jay-Z and Memphis Bleek

Death Scene:
"Vice Versa" Pastor Troy

Funeral Song:
“I Want to Live in the Sky” T.I.
"Black Butterfly" Deniece Williams
"Total Praise"

End Credits:“I Believe” Fantasia

2006 in Review

2007-01-04T14:02:00.000-08:00

There’s this minister from the Bahamas who comes to our church every now and then, Bishop Neil C. Ellis. Let’s just say, he’s not your average preacher man. He has this unusual boldness about him. He also has a great sense of humor, which is ten times funnier because he delivers it with a straight and serious face. Through all this you can see his devoted love for God. He’s one of those ministers who carries God on him so much that you’re afraid to get too close to him because you just know he’ll tell all your business.

Whenever Bishop Ellis comes to our church everyone gets very excited. Not only because he’s a fun and amusing minister, but, most importantly, he always has an “I’m all up in your business” word from God. So early last year, he came to our church and said, “2006 will be a year of reference for you. Years from now you will look back and say, ‘I remember what God did in 2006.’”

Now in 2004, I was at a point of desperation. Everything I touched was going wrong, and I was at my whit’s end. It was during that time I stopped questioning God and His workmen. Not to say I believe everything a preacher says just because he’s a “man of God” because all of them are not. But I took the effort to read Bible, learn what it said, and then and only then was I able to recognize which ministers truly spoke His Word. Because of this, I was able to trust and believe what Bishop Ellis was saying, and I went with it.

Everything I did during that year I would say, “It’s the year of reference. God’s going to do something big. He’s going to do something He’s never done before.” And things just began to happen. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a cake walk. In fact, 2006 was probably the hardest year of my life. Everything that I truly loved and cared about was tested. Every time I looked around something bad was happening in my life. I cried more in 2006 than I did in my entire life. But I came through every situation ON TOP. Situations that would’ve killed me the year before, dreams I would have given up on because of the trouble that accompanied them…I was able to walk away from everything in victory because I believed what some crazy preacher from the Bahamas said about me.

In the end, 2006 turned out to be the greatest year of my life…despite the troubles, heartache, and heartbreak. It was truly a year of reference in my life, and I will definitely be telling my great-grandkids about how God showed me His face in 2006.

Kia’s 2006 Year in Review

 My business signed its first major contract that brought in the big bucks
 Got my first passport and left the country for the first time
 Lived completely alone in a foreign country where I didn’t speak the language and survived
 Worked an internship oversees
 Met and interviewed an U.S. Ambassador
 Built a personal relationship with an Embassy consulate
 Got a free trip to Paris, France
 Brought my son to live with me full-time
 Got a promising position with a growing magazine
 Bought a house
 Paid off 1/3 of my credit card debit (Y’all who truly know me, know that that’s a miracle in itself, LOL)
 Doubled my yearly income
 Had a huge “growth” (for lack of a better word) removed from my body only to have pathologist say they couldn’t even begin to fathom what it was or why it was there. And then survived losing way too much blood after the surgical procedure.
 Got offered another free trip to Africa
 Helped someone else cancel their debt (What you make happen for others God will make happen for you.)
 Made all A’s in my grad school courses
 Gave blood for the first time (Another minor miracle. I don’t do needles, and they use a BIG needle to take that blood.)
 Won a free cruise to the Bahamas and Grand Cayman Island from Coco Brother, The Spirit of Hip Hop, and Hot 107.9 (Some of y’all may remember Coco from 6-10pm on 107.9. He now hosts The Spirit of Hip Hop weekdays from 5-6 am and Sunday from 6am-noon. It’s an awesome show that just got syndicated nationwide last Sunday, so if you get it in your area, please check it out. I know it’s in Baltimore, Cincinnati, Houston, and Dallas. You can also listen on the web (www.hot1079atl.com). It’s not your grandma’s Gospel. Well, it is. It’s just wrapped in a package you can dig. I mean everything you can think of, from Rick Ross to Kirk Franklin, you can catch it on his show.
 Started writing my first book
 Got a 2-pack. (Only four more to go, LOL.)
 And became a person I like, love, and am proud of.

Now, I don’t say all this to brag because not one of these things could I have done on my own. (Not even got all A’s. Yes, I’m smart, but everyone who knows me knows I’m not a good student.). To me, this is just proof of what will happen when you believe what God says. And since God only exceeds Himself, I’m super excited about 2007. Happy New Year, everyone. I’m sure your year will be blessed, prosperous, and everything you believe and imagine it will be.

25 Things I Know for Sure

2006-11-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

25 Things I know for sure…

As I approach my 25th birthday, I’m embracing the fact that I’m officially grown. In these short 25 years of life, I’ve experienced a lot. And through these experiences, there are a couple of things that I now know for sure. See below:

25) Relationships only work when each person involved properly communicates their needs, listens to the others needs, and attempts to give what is needed. Sounds simple, but is extremely complicated.

24) True friends don’t have to talk everyday or even regularly. They just have to be there when needed.

23) Destiny is real, and there is a such thing as a soul mate.

22) It is possible to overcome heartbreak and truly love and trust again.

21) Men are the foundation of the world we live in, but women make men who they are.

20) A mother’s legacy is in the life of her children. Nothing is more beautiful than never meeting a woman, but knowing, deep in your heart, that she was a great and beautiful person by witnessing the life her kids lead, especially when they are men.

19) God is truly faithful. Everything He says will happen. Rather you want it to or not.

18) Nothing is more beautiful than Black love…when done right.

17) Everything you’re supposed to be, do, become is inside of you. You get screwed up when you begin listening and believing everything that is being said on the outside of you.

16) There’s a difference between going to church, being saved, and falling in love with Jesus and making Him the Lord of your life. True power comes not with being saved, but with crowning Him Lord of your life.

15) If a man can’t say that a woman has made him a better man, he’s never had a woman worth his time. Likewise, if a woman can’t say a man made her a better woman, she’s never had a man worth her time.

14) Men can truly love you, yet cheat on you like a dog. But no woman should settle for that man.

13) Lust, deep like, and adoration are all emotions. They have the ability to change at any moment. But unconditional love is a choice. You decide when you start and when you stop loving someone unconditional.

12) OJ Simpson is truly an idiot.

11) Reminiscing over the past does nothing for your future. Dreaming about the future, does nothing for your present. But being content where you are is the secret to a joyful life.

10) Just because you love him, does not mean you’re suppose to be with him. It may be time for you to walk away and never look back.

9) The most difficult times in life are actually the greatest times in life. They are the times you are forced to grow, man-up (yes, I tell women to man up all the time), and become the person you were meant to be.

8) I met some of the greatest people in my life at Spelman and Morehouse.

7) There is no greater task than raising a black man…alone.

6) Women are physically impossible of being sex buddies. We catch feelings…end of discussion. You can deny it or even lie to yourself, but at the end of the day feelings are still caught.

5) The people who hurt you throughout life are the ones who do the most for you. They challenge you. They force you to evaluate, modify and change your ideas on love, lust, family and friendship. They mold and shape who you will become…hopeful for the better.

4) You only begin to live life once you overcome your fear of death.

3) The most difficult thing in the world is when you have no one to talk to about what’s really going on in your life. It hurts to realize you’re surrounded by “friends” but none of them can understand where you are, what you’re doing, or why you’re doing. No one can simply be an ear without commenting, offering opinions or judging you.

2) When a man wants you nothing can keep him away, but when he doesn’t want you, nothing will make him stay…not good sex, not good head, not making yourself his dream girl, not the spaghetti trick, not nothing.

1) If you get quiet and listen inside of yourself, God will tell you the plans He has for your life, and then all hell will break loose and it will look like God’s promises will never happen. Finally, when you get content with where you are, He’ll step in and put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Get quite and listen. The truth is inside of you.

Poolside Observations: A Dad and his Kids

2006-07-13T17:04:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting out by the pool of my apartment (thank God 4 my Treo), and I saw a father playing with his sons. I thought this was an observation worth sharing, so here goes.

There's a black man playing in the pool with his 3 sons. Now it is sad that this should even be including in my observations, but let's be really. That's a rare occurence in our communities. Growing up in high school, I recall being one of the few whose parents were still together. And one commonality between my peers whose parents were or weren't together was that none spent lots of quality time with their fathers. Whether they were working all the time, locked up, out of town, or just absent, the quality time just wasn't there. So to see this black father happily spending quality time with his sons impressed me.

What was even further impressive about it was the way he was with his kids. He wasn't overbearing. He wasn't nonchalant. He wasn't uncaring or unconcerned. He was the perfect combination of a father: fun and playful, yet stern. He taught them and played games with them while disciplining them and making sure they respected him and each other. And he was not underprotective as it is stereotyped most dads are nor macho. He was very watchful of his sons, making sure the youngest didn't venture too far in the deep side and that they didn't hurt one another with their horseplay, and he allowed them to be kids and have feelings. He made me sit back and examine my parenting skills. I do well, but there are things I can...I will do better. I must say he blessed my soul. I wish all black boys had fathers like him.

No More Cris' for Hip Hop

2006-07-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

Frederic Rouzaud, the president of Champagne Louis Roederer (the maker of Cristal) recently expressed to the Economist that he wasn't exactly pleased with hip hop's consumtion of the it's champagne Cristal. Since the mid-nineties, when what appears to be the never ended bling-bling era of hip hop began, Cristal along with a number of other expensive, luxurious products (i.e. Dom P., Moet, Maybachs, Cadillac, etc.) have received an priceless amount of free publicity. So Rouzaud's recent comment in the name of Cristal is naturally seen as a stab in the back. Hip hop, being the global trendsetter that it is, undoubtedly made Cristal a household name, which ultimately affected its sells, at least among its urban consumers. I know when I decided I was going to ball out of control before my college graduation and buy a couple of bottles of champagne I went with Moet because I had heard the free advertisement it received from hip hop. I mean what else do I know about expensive champagne???

Having African American's build a brand (or a nation) on free advertisement (or labor) and then turning around and saying that you don't want them to consume your product (or saying that they are only 3/5 of a human being) is nothing new. Timberland did it. Tommy Hilfiger is also rumored to have done so. And now Cristal. In this situation, I am extremely proud to see hip hop step up and say, "Heck naw, shawty." Jay-Z, probably the most respected and influential man in hip hop today, has publicly called for a boycott of Cristal and pulled the brand from his chain of 40/40 nightclubs. (Go Jigga!!!) Cristal was also noticeable absent from the 2006 BET Awards, according to AOL News reports. This is extremely unusual because for the past 10 years every major name in hip hop (Jay-Z, Tupac, Nelly, R. Kelly, Kanye West) have given the brand free publicity via their songs.

However, the question remains, is urban entertainment industry (hip hop, sports, etc.) large enough to affect Cristal's pocketbook. I personally hope so. I'm tired of people disrespecting me and my people and having little or no consequences. I want Cristal and Mr. Rouzaud to sincerely regret the comments made and realize that we (African Americans) will not sit by passively as we, our voices, and our consumer dollars are repeatedly unacknowledged and disrespected. Even more, I wish we would stop making other folks rich and start producing our own quality stuff and bring these big $$$ back to the 'hood. I say lets get our own. Keep as much $$$ as possible in our own community and stop making unappreciative buttholes rich. Just a little food for thought. Check out the AOL news article @ http://news.aol.com/entertainment/music/articles/_a/jay-z-puts-a-cap-on-cristal/20060705065709990001

2006 BET Awards 40 Questions (if you missed it, don’t worry. Repeats will air regular for the next 10 months)

2006-06-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

1. Was I the only one disappointed with Beyonce and Jay-Z’s opening performance? Ok, but I expected more.

2. Where the hell did BET find J.J., Thelma, Michael and Penny? I was impressed and loving it.

3. Why does it seem like the same female hip hop artist are nominated for best female hip hop artist every year?

4. How did T.I. manage to get Don King to open up his performance? I loved the performance (even though I think BET screwed up his track) from the baby pics to Don King to the orchestra in the background to the set to him lookin pretty in his all white (even though he was showing his black drawers). I love that man!!! If you don’t respect nothing else, RESPECT HIS HUSTLE!!!

5. Hasn’t Snoop come a long way from lookin’ like the skinny street bomb he did on his first album?

6. And doesn’t Ice Cube look the same, minus the jerry curl?

7. Weren’t Snoop and Ice Cube wrong for clownin’ Milli Vanilli?

8. Weren’t you surprised by the deserving artist nominated for best new artist?

9. Isn’t Chris Brown just too cute for his own good? If T.I. hasn’t wifed me up in 5 years, I’m going after Mr. Brown. He should be legal by then.

10. Didn’t you miss Free and AJ?

11. Doesn’t the Miami Vice movie look better than the old television show?

12. Aren’t you glad Kanye West didn’t go retro this time around?

13. Wasn’t all white the color this year? (T.I., Kanye, Jamie Foxx, Diddy, Young Joc and his back up dancers, Shawn Wayans, Steve Harvey)

14. Jamie & Fantasia??? I love it!!! THEY ARE TONGUEING EACH OTHER DOWN ON STAGE!!!

15. Nick Cannon & Cat Williams??? Isn’t that too much want to be pimpdem on the stage?

16. Was I the only one who didn’t know Lebron James was that sexy???

17. Wasn’t Chris Brown’s performance the best of everyones? With his Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal suit on…and he danced and did back flips without giving out of breathe. T.I. you better watch out. Chris Brown is about to steal me out of you hands.

18. But what’s up with the designs cut in his head?

19. Did you really expect for Prince to get best male R&B artist or was that just a political decision?

20. And didn’t he look pretty?

21. Wasn’t Mary hot, as always?

22. Were you really surprised that T.I. won best male hip hop artist? And he even tried to inspire the kids.

23. Wasn’t Keyshia Cole hot? She looked so sophisticated.

24. Didn’t Young Joc represent A-Town nicely?

25. And when did Tom Cruise do the motorcycle dance? I’ve been out of the country, please feel me in?

26. Wasn’t it nice how Joc snuck in the shout out to Greg Street? That A-Town love!!!

27. Were you really surprised that Mary J. took Beyonce?

28. Where the hell did Eminem come from during Busta Rhymes performance???

29. Goldigger is hot, but was it really the best collabo of the year???

30. I know it’s not a question, but I love Mary, Mary song Yesterday. That track’s gotten me through a lot of rough time.

31. Isn’t Kirk Franklin’s wife pretty?

32. And what happen to Kyle from J.E.?

33. Didn’t Yolanda Adams kill “Sweet Thang”? The entire Chaka Khan tribute was hot…Prince, Yolanda Adams, Stevie Wonder, India.Arie.

34. Who knew Neyo could dance like Michael Jackson?

35. Don’t you like the way the fan just dropped that Jesus line before announcing the viewers choice awards?

36. Are you as excited as I am about Outkast new album?

37. Was Prince’s performance really how they should’ve ended the show?

38. Damon Wayans just wasn’t that funny, was he?

39. Don’t you like the way so many people genuinely acknowledged God this year?

40. Was it better or worse than last year?

Photos from Tunisia

2006-06-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

Click the link below to check out my photos from Tunisia. I invite comments.

http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=23203565&l=eca0f

123 Reasons I Love Tunisia

2006-06-22T12:26:00.001-07:00

These are in no particular order.

The people are great.
The food is fresh and healthy
The fact that I acted 9 years old for six weeks
The coffee was perfect.
Café Margoun
My downtown apartment
Somortak
Interviewing U.S. Ambassador William Hudson
Eating cookies and cake for breakfast
Meals for 3 dinars ($2.25)
Learning Arabic
Faiza the Hellraiser (she’s my role model)
Going to the "discotec"
Ahmed a.k.a. Smokie (I would’ve been lost without you, and I couldn’t have asked for a better brother. Love ya tooooo much.)
The Sahara Desert (need I say more.)
The road trips
El Jem (where the movie Gladiators was filmed)
Swimming in the Mediterranean Sea
The beaches (They are much quieter than American beaches.)
The Castle
Sailing on the Mediterranean Sea
The taxi rides (There’s no cheaper adrenaline rush.)
Becoming an international writer (I was published twice in Tunisia.)
Dr. Anne (I only wish I could be as diplomatic as you are. Oh yeah, and you were the one who made me cry at the airport.)
Sfax (It’s my second home.)
My Rami (I miss your hugs and holding your hands. I love you, my Rami. Hugs & kisses, see you soon.)
Riding camels through the desert
Tozuer
World Cup Soccer (Even though every team we routed for lost. Someone please tell me who to route for now???)
Brik
The Olive Hotel (5 star bathrooms)
Berthony a.k.a. The King of Somortak (From the black tees to "the Berthony," we know we had some laughs)
The quahwa crew (I couldn’t have chosen a better clique to spend 6 hours a day with.)
The 5 star in the desert (We weren’t exactly roughing it, but we did sleep under the stars in the Sahara.)
Tunisian time (very similar to C.P. time, but a little more extreme.)
Using my "little brain" to repeatedly help out the "big brains" (It may have worked overtime, but at least mine was working.)
The "family rooms" (We had lots of fun in the family rooms.)
Win bidhdat???
The yogurt things at Café Margoun
The Medina
Dr. Iraj
Ahmed’s mom (I love her like she’s my own mom!!!)
Kherkenah
My hurriyah
Having little contact with the western world
The Odyssey Hotel (I’ll be seeing you on my honeymoon.)
The night I had to move out of my apartment (You guys were great!!! I couldn’t have made it through without you. Thanks again!!!)
My dinner with Rami and Ahmed. (I absolutely fell in love with you guys that night.)
Hamadi (Pimping is international. Love you sooooo much!!!!)
Shachuga (I ate an abundance of this stuff.)
Mesh Mesha
Seafood Omelets
Willena Moye a.k.a. "DON’T TOUCH ME!!!"
Our first night in Zahrzis (DRAMA, need I say more.)
Shi-sha
Johanne a.k.a. The Haggler (even though I hated shopping with you...you know I love you girl.)
The bad Ahmed a.k.a. Snitch a.k.a. Ahf@#$ a.k.a. F@#$med (Sociopaths are international, too. Hey, without him we would’ve lack things to talk/laugh about)
The ice cream (I ate enough of it to be an expert.)
Sidi Monsour
The fish market
Zach (You are wonderful.)
The street of meat
Mech Mech (You’re the greatest Nicole. Can’t wait to hang out.)
The day we escaped to the beach. (It was so relaxing and definitely needed.)
Rashida (Girl, we know we had fun.)
The Berthony’s (They weren’t fun to have, but they gave us some great laughs)
Those funnel cake thingys
Jaye (You are absolutely hilarious. We have to hang out soon.)
Sidi Bou Said (The view was absolutely amazing!!!)
Singing Sidi Monsour in Arabic (or at least attempting to.)
Hedi (if you hadn’t taught us the ropes during that first week, Sfax would’ve eaten us alive.)
Sharawma
Eating my fries inside my sandwich
Hela (You’re beautiful inside and out!!!)
Having to manipulate people to give them gifts. (I’ve never had so much fun in my life!!!)
The fact that I finally gained some weight (10 pounds to be exact. That’s what happens when you eat 4 meals a day plus snacks.)
Riding in the 4x4 in the desert (It was a roller coaster ride with no seatbelts.)
Annie (You are one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met.)
Olfa & Afef (It’s good to know pure and geniune hearts still exist. I love you girls.)
Planet Sandwich (I wish fast food in America was that good.)
The party at Hela’s. (Happy Birthday techno style.)
Dany A. (Quiet, but absolutely hilarious)
The chocolate covered waffles
The sunset in the Sahara (I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life.)
Anis (In the words of Jaye, you’re pure sugar.)
The Max (or whatever the name of the restuarant across the street from campus is)
Jeff (need I say more.)
The party at Dr. Richard’s house
Dr. Che Beni, our Arabic teacher (Win Bidhdabt???)
All of the xubiz
Salad Tunisianne
Mariam (No, no, no...no, no, no, no, no!!!)
The fruit
Malik (You are soooo much fun. We have to hang out more on the next go around.)
The conference room (so many secrets...so many private conversations.)
Dangerous (Even his little brother laughed at his nickname. Sorry babe, you’re just not that dangerous.)
Café Melody (I didn’t get to go, but that’s where all the real fun went on from what I understand.)
Somai (You’re beautiful, girl!!!)
Hotel Syphax (I love that calamari.)
C. Flous
My A+ in Arabic
Friendship (You guys taught me the true meaning of friendship and the true meaning of love.)
Hedi’s cousin, Ahmed (Yes, this is the third Ahmed on the list, and he is different from the rest.. Thanks for all the rides the first couple of weeks. We couldn’t talk much, but you were beautiful eye candy.)
Teaching slang (From golddigger to cake daddy and everything in between. We tried to equip you with the most useful terms.)
Walid (Thanks for being the best. You took care of me like I was your own. We shared sooo many secrets. And don’t tell anyone, but your mom is the best cook in town.)
Matmahda (It amazes me that these people are able to stay so cool in such heat.)
Carthage (That place is absolutely breathe-taking.)
Aiman (You’re absolutely wonderful. I love you much. Tell your somortak I said hello.)
The Mediterranean Sea (It’s so flat and calm.)
Anouar (You’re absolutely great. Thanks for Kerkenah)
Our first goodbye. (It was long, we cried, and it was proof that life long bonds had been formed. God knows I miss you guys.)
Our goodbye photo. (It is absolutely beautiful. It exudes love.)
Mouna (You were the first to email me, girl. I look forward to keeping in contact with you.)
Our last Friday night dinner (Nicole, Jaye, Rashida, Willena, Berthony, Johanne, and I shared secrets, laughed, and absolutely capped our Tunisia experience. This was the most fun I had with Americans during the 6 weeks.)
Our Saturday night dinner. (Surprisingly, there was no drama. It was great to conclude our journey on a happy note.)
Our last night in Tunis. (Thanks for coming down guys. Despite the problems that arose that night was lots of fun and absolutely priceless.)
The J & B Scotch (It was good.)
Our airport goodbye. (I’m not a fan of airport goodbyes, but this one was classic.)
Air France had to change the tire on our plane in Tunis (Because of this, we missed our connector flight in Paris and got to stay the night there. Who else can say they saw Paris for $75?)
My gifts (Each day I look at them and the memories flood my mind.)
The fact that no one else will be able to understand this experience except for the 34 of us.
The fact that I have family on the other side of the world.
The fact that "we" will be together soon.

I am not dead

2006-05-30T14:08:00.001-07:00

I know I have been away for awhile, but I am still alive. I am actually in Tunisia and do not have good internet acess. I promise to be back postin by June 22 with pics and stories. See you then.

Punishment

2006-04-26T11:52:00.002-07:00

Now what happen to these kinda parents. This is what keeps our kids out of trouble and our men out of jail. Big ups, moms!!! I could sooo see myself doing this.

SC

2006-04-11T18:32:00.001-07:00

This was an email sent out by my Spelman sister and classmate. I felt it captured the complete essence of Spelman and wanted to share. Feel free to add the names of the Spelman women who have inspired your life in the comments section.

Today we honor the 125th anniversary of the founding of our beloved Spelman College. We honor the vision of Ms. Packard & Ms. Giles. We honor 125 years undaunted by the fight! We honor those who said we couldn't, and yet we did. They told us brilliance could not come from us, and we were brilliant. They told us beauty could not look like us and we were beautiful. They told us courage was unlike us, and we are courageous. They told us leadership was unbecoming of us, and we led. They told us to be invisible, but we made the whole world stop and take notice. They said there was no way, and we made one.

On this day 125 years ago, our foresisters came to the gates, destitute, often illiterate. They owned nothing but a yearning to learn and a deep-rooted sense of knowing that coming to this place was going to change the course of history for our people. On that day they shattered the threshold that had been so long protected by those who said Black women had no place at the table of knowledge. And on the day of our founding, Sophia B. Packard wrote "April 11, 1881. School opens with eleven scholars." Scholars.

Below you will find 125 spaces for 125 Spelman woman who have changed our lives in some way for the better. You can put as many or as few sisters on this list as you would like, and then copy, paste and forward to your sisters until the circle is complete. And please remember, our foresisters had nothing but a head on their shoulders andshoes on their feet. They had nothing of the resources we have today and they built something that has thrived for 125 years. You got avisa. Give up some money to Spelman today.

and when life's race is won, thy noble work is done, oh God foreverbind, out hearts to thine!

1. Dr. Shirley Toland
2. Dr. Johnetta Cole
3. Elder Bernice King
4. Dr. Beverly Tatum
5. Dr. Cynthia Neale Spence
6. Dr. Zenobia Hikes

125 and Counting

2006-04-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

125 years ago on April 11, 1881, Sophia Packard and Harriet E. Giles founded the best school to grace the face of the earth...Spelman College. Since then thousands of girls entered the gates and four years later they've exited as women...dynamic, world changing women. I often look through facebook, and it absolutely amazes me the things that my fellow Spelman sisters are doing. We are moving and shaking in all of our perspective fields. We have some hugh shoes to fill of past alumnae like Marian Wright Edelman, Latanya Richardson Jackson, Elder Bernice King, Pearl Cleage, and Alice Walker. But there's no doubt in my mind that we will fill those shoes and then run in them. Big ups, Spelman College. You've definitely changed the world. May the next 125 be even greater.

Spelman Hymn
Spelman, thy name we praise
Standards and honor raise
We'll ever faithful be
Throughout eternity
May peace with thee abide
And God forever guide
Thy heights supreme and true
Blessings to you.

Through years of toil and pain
May thy dear walls remain
Beacons of heavenly light,
Undaunted by the fight
And when life's race is won,
Thy noble work is done
Oh, God forever bind
Our hearts to thine

Words and music by Eddye Mae Money, C'1934

High School High

2006-04-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

THIS IS A GOOD ONE....

Your High School Years are supposed to be "the best years of your life.” How much you remember. I know for some it might be hard for you to go back that far! Copy n edit n repost on ur wall n someone elses wall!

Graduation Year : 2000

1. Who were your best friend/friends? Kassie & Candice
2. What sports did you play? Do you consider band to be a sport?
3. What kind of car did you drive? 1989 Gold Nissan 240 SX, 1997 Black BMW Covertible, 1999 Nissan Pathfinder (Nope, I didn't wreck any of them. Yes, I was kinda spoiled)
4. It's Friday night, where were you? Football game, house party, or the movies, but always Burger King
5. Were you a party animal? I was a social butterfly. It's kinda hard to be a party animal in Gadsden
6. Were you in the "In Crowd"? In the "in crowd"? We were the "in crowd"!!! LOL
7. Ever skip school? Yeah, but my parents always knew. I guess that doesn't really count, huh?
8. Ever smoke? Once
9. Were you a nerd? I was smart, made the grades, but was far from a nerd
10. Did you get suspended/expelled? Nope
11. Can you sing the Alma Mater? I can't even hum the melody
12. Who was your favorite teacher/teachers? Ms. Jackson and Mrs. Reddick were cool, but I didn't have in life changing teachers in high school. At least not in a good way. Mrs. Hawkins, Dr. Lyons, and Mrs. Donald did piss me off that I had to overachieve to prove them wrong, but that's about it.
13. Favorite class? Mrs. Hanyie's Math Analysis. I learned what I wanted to be
14. What was your schools full name? Gadsden High School a.k.a The Palace
15. School mascot? Tiger
16. Did you go to Prom? 3 years
17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? Of course, but I would make better grades, better decisions, and have more fun
18. What do you remember most about graduation? Giving the welcome and actually being surprised that I cried
19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? Stand up for who I was when the whole world was trying to tear me down
20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? Were we never posted on the senior wall would be a better questions
21. Did you have a job your senior year? Nope, I quit it just before my senior year
22. Who did you date? Barry Bothwell
23. Where did you go most often for lunch? Uh, the lunchroom. We didn't have those rights
24. Have you gained weight since then? Maybe 3 lbs.
25. What did you do after graduation? Went to Kesha's house for a party I think. That's when that Master P, "I Can Tell" song was hot. "You ain't gotta say to much from the look in your eye I can tell..."

Oh, the memories...

The Worst Meal I Ever Cooked...

2006-04-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sophomore year of college, I was rich. It was my first year living off-campus, and I had an overflow of money and credit cards, and I knew how to use them both. After shopping, my roommate, Erika, and I spent a lot of money on food and alcohol. I don’t think we ever had an empty fridge during that year…or an empty house.

Entertaining was our thing, especially when Memorial Day or 4th of July rolled around. We would go to the grocery story and buy every pig we could find and have the biggest barbeques two 20 year olds could have. (Yes, Jackie knew what he was doing on the grill. I can’t even take that away from him, girl.)

As much fun as that was, breakfast was my thing. The fridge was always stocked eggs and breakfast’s steaks. I was known for my scrambled cheese eggs. They were the best in…well, our apartment building. My neighbors would come in from the club at 5 am, knock on our door, and with sad puppy dog faces say, “Kia, will you cook us some eggs?” Within 5 minutes on a Wednesday night, we would have a house full of negroes, a bomb breakfast, and an impromptu gathering.

It was lots of fun, but let’s just say I got a little cocky with my egg scrambling. I started spicing in up with more than just the norm of my secret recipe. I started throwing in minced garlic, onion salt, steak seasoning, and Worcestershire sauce. My eggs were tasting like steak, and I was bragging up a storm. Each time I got a little more creative and I little bolder. Each time my eggs got better and better.

Then one day, since my eggs tasted like steak, I decided to pour some A-1 sauce in before I scrambled them. Hey, they tasted good with A-1 sauce on them after they were cooked; why not add it from the beginning? That was the absolute worse decision in the world. I can’t even put into words how bad those eggs tasted…or how bad my girls laughed at me after that experience. Never ever again…

Lesson Learned: The prideful fall hard…and they keep on falling, and falling, and falling.

Solutions: Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. (James 4:10).

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time (1 Peter 5:6).

He's the KING!!!

2006-04-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

T.I.'s album came in at #1 on the Billboard 200 charts. He moved 522,000 albums and had the best album sales of any artist for the year. KING's sales are the best since the Christmas season when Jamie Foxx and Mary J. Blige's albums hit shelves. T.I. actually booted Prince from the #1 spot to the #3 spot.

His movie, ATL, came in #3 bringing in $11,554,404. Ice Age was #1 with $68,033,544 in sales, and Denezel Washington's Inside Man was #2 bringing in $15,437,760. Now that's success, especially considering that his competition was a kid's movie and Denezel.

Love vs. Lust

2006-04-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

Love asks, "What can I do for you?" Lust asks, "What can you do for me?" So are you really in love or simply consumed by lust?

Leaving Our Mark

2006-04-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I learned late last week that the United States Postal Service unveiled a new Spelman stamp that celebrates the college's 125th anniversary. Spelman College is the first college or university to have its on stamp. The stamp will be the college's new logo with 125 years below it, and it will be made public in the near future.

Dr. Beverly Tatum, the college's president, is really doing her thing-thing at Spelman. I was so happy to see her come on board during my tenure at the college, and I'm even happier to see all that she is accomplishing now. I didn't have the pleasure of attending Spelman during Sister-prez Dr. Johnetta B. Cole's days, but from what I know about Spelman's history and its presidents, Dr. Tatum is the only prez to even step into the same league as Sister-prez Cole. Much respect Dr. Tatum.

I'm so proud of my alma mater and so honored to be an alumna. There is absolutely no better place for a black woman to be educated than Spelman College.

I'm the KING

2006-03-31T09:55:00.000-08:00

So three years ago this time the 6 disc changer in my Chevy Tahoe had 5 CDs in it. All of them were T.I. (Yeah, my man has been making good music long before y'all started buying it.) My girls hated from day one. They called this man country, crackheadish, and everything in between, LOL. But I kept telling them, "This nigga is the truth." I swore he was sexy, but they couldn't see it for the oversized wifebeater (I like my men skinny. What can I say?) and the "A" cap he wore on top (not on) of his head. I swore his first album was the hottest I had heard in awhile. They thought it was garbage. I swore he would become a hip hop legend. They didn't think he would ever be known outside of the A. The day his second album came out I was in the Library (no, not the one you think. There was no studying going on here.) singing every word. I even screamed out the window driving down W. Peachtree and told the trees to "go cop that T.I. CD," according to Sherilyn. (That's why I don't drink anymore. Was I driving or riding Sherilyn? Please tell me I was riding?)

About a two years ago I got a text from one of my girls. She had picked up a Vibe magazine, flipped to the back cover, saw a fine piece of a man only to realize it was T.I. A couple of weeks later I had to email all them heffas to say, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" My baby had just been featured on AOL Music. He had arrived in mainstreaming. Now all them heffas want to list him on their facebook pages and stuff as one of their favorite artist.

I say all of this to say, don't nobody come at me talking about, "Yeah, T.I. is kinda hot." I knew that crap years ago. I supported that man before you knew his name. Now e'reybody want to jump on the T.I. bandwagon.

Moral of the story:

Kia knows the truth when she sees it. Stop fighting it and listen to me baby. Have I ever given you bad advice??? Ok, have I given you bad advice in the past two years?
I can see the greatness of a man before it comes to be. Give me a piece of coal, and I'll tell you if it will ever be a diamond. Hey, it's a great gift. So to the men out there, if I've ever told you that you were great (there really are not that many either), take heed. I see something that you may not see yet, but I promise you keep looking Up for your Guidiance and working at it, and it shall come to pass.
Good music will always triumph over music industry politics and B.S. They tried to hold my baby down but he prevailed. Where you at now Arista???
I'm a faithful girl. Once you're on my team, you're down for life. I'll stand by you through the thick and thin, and I'll always have your back. What can I say? I'm a ride or die chick.
Confidence and knowing your destiny are sometimes mistaken for arrogance. People swore T.I. was an arrogant know nothing when he claimed he was the King of the South on his first album and it failed to impressly sale. But he knew what we didn't know. He knew his destiny. He knew what was inside of him. Know what's inside of you and then claim that thing. Once you speak your destiny, nothing on earth or in hell can stop it from coming to past. I don't worry about what e'vrybody else is saying. They're just upset because you have destiny; you know who you are, and they don't have a clue. I know my destiny. How about you?

I feel like a proud momma. I've been telling people for years my "no good baby" would succeed and now he's doing just that. So y'all support my man. Go out and get the album, King, if you don't have it yet. In fact, get Urban Legend, Trap Muzik, and I'm Serious too. Grab the mixtapes if you can find them also.

And don't forget to go and see the movie, ATL. Just don't see it at any malls owned by General Growth Properties. They issued a statement asking malls to beef up security for this film. And I quote, "The movie could cause behavior problems among customers, and to prepare their staffs for the release of the movie." Mind you the freakin' movie is rated PG-13!!! More haters, but if they don't want me in there mall to see a PG-13 movie with an anti-drug message, cool. But I also won't be back in their mall for anything else. Not even a bottle of water. Here's a link to the news story: http://www.wsbtv.com/news/8207576/detail.html. And here's a list of the malls they own below. Oh, don't play. I told y'all, I'm faithful to those I deem deserving. And I hate nothing more than "the man" hating on someone trying to do good after they make it out the hood.

Smoochies, and in the words of Elder Bernice A. King (Dr. Martin L. King Jr's youngest daughter) "be a king" where ever you are.

Directory of Malls
Adrian MallAdrian, Michigan
Northbrook CourtNorthbrook, Illinois
Ala Moana CenterHonolulu, Hawaii
Northgate MallChattanooga, Tennessee
AlderwoodLynnwood, Washington
Northridge Fashion CenterNorthridge, California
Alexandria MallAlexandria, Louisiana
NorthTown MallSpokane, Washington
Altamonte MallAltamonte Springs, Florida
Oak View MallOmaha, Nebraska
Animas Valley MallFarmington, New Mexico
Oakbrook CenterOak Brook, Illinois
Apache MallRochester, Minnesota
Oakwood CenterGretna, Louisiana
Arizona CenterPhoenix, Arizona
Oakwood MallEau Claire, Wisconsin
Augusta MallAugusta, Georgia
Oglethorpe MallSavannah, Georgia
Bassett PlaceEl Paso, Texas
Oviedo MarketplaceOviedo, Florida
Bay City MallBay City, Michigan
Owings MillsOwings Mills, Maryland
Baybrook MallFriendswood, Texas
Oxmoor CenterLouisville, Kentucky
Bayshore MallEureka, California
Paramus ParkParamus, New Jersey
Bayside MarketplaceMiami, Florida
Park City CenterLancaster, Pennsylvania
Beachwood PlaceBeachwood, Ohio
Park MeadowsLittleton, Colorado
Bellis FairBellingham, Washington
Park PlaceTucson, Arizona
Birchwood MallPort Huron, Michigan
Peachtree MallColumbus, Georgia
Boise Towne SquareBoise, Idaho
Pecanland MallMonroe, Louisiana
Brass Mill CenterWaterbury, Connecticut
Pembroke Lakes MallPembroke Pines, Florida
Bridgewater CommonsBridgewater, New Jersey
Perimeter MallAtlanta, Georgia
Burbank Town CenterBurbank, California
Piedmont MallDanville, Virginia
Burlington Town CenterBurlington, Vermont
Pierre Bossier MallBossier City, Louisiana
Cache Valley MallLogan, Utah
Pine Ridge MallPocatello, Idaho
Capital MallJefferson City, Missouri
Pioneer PlacePortland, Oregon
Carolina PlacePineville, North Carolina
Prince Kuhio PlazaHilo, Hawaii
Centerpointe MallGrand Rapids, Michigan
Providence PlaceProvidence, Rhode Island
Century PlazaBirmingham, Alabama
Provo Towne CentreProvo, Utah
Chapel Hills MallColorado Springs, Colorado
Quail Springs MallOklahoma City, Oklahoma
Chico MallChico, California
Queen Ka'ahumanu CenterKahului, Hawaii
Christiana MallNewark, Delaware
Queens' MarketPlaceWaikoloa Beach Resort, Hawaii
Chula Vista CenterChula Vista, California
Red Cliffs MallSt. George, Utah
Clackamas Town CenterPortland, Oregon
Redlands MallRedlands, California
Coastland CenterNaples, Florida
Regency Square MallJacksonville, Florida
Collin CreekPlano, Texas
Ridgedale CenterMinnetonka, Minnesota
Colony Square MallZanesville, Ohio
Rio West MallGallup, New Mexico
Columbia MallColumbia, Missouri
River Falls MallClarksville, Indiana
Columbiana CentreColumbia, South Carolina
River Hills MallMankato, Minnesota
Coral Ridge MallCoralville, Iowa
Riverchase GalleriaHoover, Alabama
Coronado CenterAlbuquerque, New Mexico
Riverlands Shopping CenterLaPlace, Louisiana
Cottonwood MallHolladay, Utah
RiverTown CrossingsGrandville, Michigan
Crossroads Center (MN)St. Cloud, Minnesota
Riverwalk MarketplaceNew Orleans, Louisiana
Cumberland MallAtlanta, Georgia
Rock Hill GalleriaRock Hill, South Carolina
Deerbrook MallHumble, Texas
Rogue Valley MallMedford, Oregon
Eagle Ridge MallLake Wales, Florida
Saint Louis GalleriaSt. Louis, Missouri
Eastridge (CA)San Jose, California
Salem CenterSalem, Oregon
Eastridge Mall (WY)Casper, Wyoming
Sandburg MallGalesburg, Illinois
Eden Prairie CenterEden Prairie, Minnesota
Sikes SenterWichita Falls, Texas
Edgewood MallMcComb, Mississippi
Silver City GalleriaTaunton, Massachusetts
Fallbrook CenterWest Hills, California
Silver Lake MallCoeur d’ Alene, Idaho
Faneuil Hall MarketplaceBoston, Massachusetts
Sooner MallNorman, Oklahoma
Fashion PlaceMurray, Utah
South Street SeaportNew York, New York
Fashion ShowLas Vegas, Nevada
SouthBay PavilionCarson, California
Festival Bay MallOrlando, Florida
Southlake MallMorrow, Georgia
First Colony MallSugar Land, Texas
Southland CenterTaylor, Michigan
Florence MallFlorence, Kentucky
Southland MallHayward, California
Foothills MallFort Collins, Colorado
SouthShore MallAberdeen, Washington
Ford City MallChicago, Illinois
Southwest PlazaLittleton, Colorado
Four Seasons Town CentreGreensboro, North Carolina
Spokane Valley MallSpokane, Washington
Fox River MallAppleton, Wisconsin
Spring Hill MallWest Dundee, Illinois
Galleria at TylerRiverside, California
St. Lawrence CentreMassena, New York
Galleria DallasDallas, Texas
Staten Island MallStaten Island, New York
Gateway MallSpringfield, Oregon
Steeplegate MallConcord, New Hampshire
Glenbrook SquareFort Wayne, Indiana
Stonebriar CentreFrisco, Texas
Glendale GalleriaGlendale, California
Stones River MallMurfreesboro, Tennessee
Golf Mill Shopping CenterNiles, Illinois
StonestownSan Francisco, California
Governor's SquareTallahassee, Florida
Summerlin CentreColumbia, Maryland
Grand Teton MallIdaho Falls, Idaho
Swansea MallSwansea, Massachusetts
Grand Traverse MallTraverse City, Michigan
The Boulevard MallLas Vegas, Nevada
Greenwood MallBowling Green, Kentucky
The Crossroads (MI)Portage, Michigan
HarborplaceBaltimore, Maryland
The Grand Canal Shoppes at The VenetianLas Vegas, Nevada
Harborplace & The GalleryBaltimore, Maryland
The Maine MallSouth Portland, Maine
Highland MallAustin, Texas
The Mall at Sierra VistaSierra Vista, Arizona
Hulen MallFt. Worth, Texas
The Mall at SteamtownScranton, Pennsylvania
Jamestown MallFlorissant, Missouri
The Mall in ColumbiaColumbia, Maryland
Jordan Creek Town CenterWest Des Moines, Iowa
The Oaks MallGainesville, Florida
Kendall Town CenterMiami, Florida
The Parks at ArlingtonArlington, Texas
Kenwood Towne CentreCincinnati, Ohio
The PinesPine Bluff, Arkansas
Kings' ShopsWaikoloa, Hawaii
The Shoppes at Buckland HillsManchester, Connecticut
Knollwood MallSt. Louis Park, Minnesota
The Shops at La CanteraSan Antonio, Texas
Lakeland Square MallLakeland, Florida
The Shops at TanforanSan Bruno, California
Lakeside MallSterling Heights, Michigan
The Streets at SouthpointDurham, North Carolina
Lakeview Square MallBattle Creek, Michigan
The Village of Cross KeysBaltimore, Maryland
Landmark MallAlexandria, Virginia
The Woodlands MallThe Woodlands, Texas
Lansing MallLansing, Michigan
Three Rivers MallKelso, Washington
Laurel MallLaurel, Maryland
Town East MallMesquite, Texas
Lebanon Valley MallLebanon, Pennsylvania
Towson Town CenterTowson, Maryland
Lockport MallLockport, New York
Tucson MallTucson, Arizona
Lynnhaven MallVirginia Beach, Virginia
Tysons GalleriaMcLean, Virginia
Main Street at Seven BridgesWoodridge, Illinois
Valley Hills MallHickory, North Carolina
Main Street CommonsGilbert, Arizona
Valley Plaza MallBakersfield, California
Mall of LouisianaBaton Rouge, Louisiana
Village of Merrick ParkCoral Gables, Florida
Mall of the BluffsCouncil Bluffs, Iowa
Visalia MallVisalia, California
Mall St. MatthewsLouisville, Kentucky
Vista Ridge MallLewisville, Texas
Mall St. VincentShreveport, Louisiana
Ward CentersHonolulu, Hawaii
Market Place Shopping CenterChampaign, Illinois
Washington Park MallBartlesville, Oklahoma
MayfairWauwatosa, Wisconsin
Water Tower PlaceChicago, Illinois
Meadows MallLas Vegas, Nevada
West Oaks MallOcoee, Florida
Metrocenter MallJackson, Mississippi
West Valley MallTracy, California
Mizner ParkBoca Raton, Florida
Westlake CenterSeattle, Washington
Mondawmin MallBaltimore, Maryland
Westroads MallOmaha, Nebraska
Montclair PlazaMontclair, California
Westwood MallJackson, Michigan
Moreno Valley MallMoreno Valley, California
Whalers VillageLahaina, Hawaii
Natick MallNatick, Massachusetts
White MarshBaltimore, Maryland
Neshaminy MallBensalem, Pennsylvania
White Mountain MallRock Springs, Wyoming
Newgate MallOgden, Utah
Willowbrook Mall (NJ)Wayne, New Jersey
NewPark MallNewark, California
Willowbrook Mall (TX)Houston, Texas
North Plains MallClovis, New Mexico
Windward MallKaneohe, Hawaii
North Point MallAlpharetta, Georgia
Woodbridge CenterWoodbridge, New Jersey
North Star MallSan Antonio, Texas

10 Things

2006-03-29T09:34:00.000-08:00

I stole this. Feel free to do the same.
10 Favorites
Favorite Color: Pink
Favorite Food: Tacos
Favorite Singer: I don’t have one, but T.I. is definitely my favorite rapper
Favorite Song: “I Believe” by Marvin Sapp (I have promises attached to it) and “I Believe” by Fantasia
Favorite Movie: I can’t think of one right now
Favorite Sport: Basketball
Favorite Season: Spring
Favorite Day Of the Week: Friday
Favorite Position: It’s been so long…

9 Currents
Current Taste: none
Current Clothes: A Spelman T-shirt
Current Desktop Picture: A cartoon AKA lady with her pinky in the air
Current Location: home
Current Time: 12:18 pm
Current Crush: LOL
Current Thought: I wish it was still as simple as having a crush.
Current Enemy: My self-defeating thoughts
Current procrastination: This follow up call

8 Firsts
First Best Friend: Robin Waller in 6th grade. I’ve never been one to have lots of friends.
First Kiss: D’andre Green 6th grade. Please keep your comments to yourself.
First Screen Name: ksmtih0130
First Time: I’ll never tell
First Yearbook caption: It was probably something with class council in 7th grade
First Crush: I can’t remember. I was in kindergatern, he was in 1st grade, and his brother was in 3rd. Yes, I wanted both of them. As much as a kindergatern could want someone. Playa, playa. The sad part is, that wasn’t the last time I liked 2 brothers.
First Music You Remember Hearing: It was probably church music.
First Car: A gold 1989 Nissan 240 SX

7 Lasts
Last Cigarette: Senior year
Last Drink Alcoholic drink: November 2005, I had 3 sips of wine.
Last Car Ride: Yesterday morning coming from Wal-mart
Last Kiss: A little over a year ago. Yeah for real, it’s really been that long. But it was really sweet, so it’s sustaining me.
Last Movie Seen: Honey. It was on USA yesterday
Last Phone Call: My mom
Last CD Played: Grace and Mercy

6 Have You Evers
Have You Ever Made Love to One Of Your Male Friends: Yeah
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Nope
Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes, a couple of times
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: No
Have You Ever Said You Loved Someone and Not Meant It: In 6th grade, but since then, I’ve only said it a couple of times and I meant it with everything in me.

5 Things
5 Things You've Done Today: read my devotional, washed dishes, cooked, homework, blogged
5 Things You Can Hear Right Now: T.V., computer, me typing, my sister walking, and my thoughts
5 Things You Do When You're Bored: listen to the radio, sit outside, read, watch tv and talk on the phone

4 Places
4 Places you want to visit: Africa (I’m going in 5 weeks), Hawaii, Bermuada, Italy

3 People
3 People You Can Tell Anything To: Honestly, I don’t have 3.

2 Choices
Black or White: Depends on the season
Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Thing
1 Thing You Want to Do Before you die: Change someone’s life

A Different World

2006-03-28T12:14:00.000-08:00

I was watching A Different World today, and I thought, “Dang, I miss the AUC!!!” There’s nothing quite like the HBCU experience: the good and the bad, the fun and the ig’nant (Yes, I meant to spell it that way. Y’all know you get ig’nant). The Friday before last was the first (and the last) warm day of the year. As I walked across the yard at Kennesaw State University, I noticed the students (predominately white) walking around campus in shorts, tank tops, and flip flops. No big deal, right? You see the same thing at Kennesaw State in the middle of December. You learn how to live with it. Cameron and I were just on campus Wednesday laughing at the people walking around in the freezing cold in shorts and flip flops. (Yes, even my six year old son thought it was funny.)

Anyways, that warm spring day made me wish I was in the AUC. If I was there I could guarantee you there would be a beer bash at Washington Park. All the greeks would be there decked out in ‘nalia stepping, hopping, spinning, and most importantly DRINKING!!! Guys would pull up in freshly washed rides and their newest fits, while the girls would be dressed to a T in capri pants, stiletto heels, and designer shades. Just when my mind was emerged in the AUC experience, I turned the corner and blew my high. There on Kennesaw State’s green were about 20 students barefoot in shorts and T-shirts playing Frisbee. I almost died laughing. “This is definitely not the AUC!!!” I thought. First, we aren’t allowed to walk on our green, let alone play on it. Secondly, the first warm day of the year is used to do many things, and Frisbee is never one of them. Wow, I really am living in a different world now!!!

Decisions

2006-03-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

EVERY decision you make affects a whole lot of people. Did you really consider that before you made your last decision? Think about it the next time decision-making time arises, and I bet you'll make a different decision.

Guess Who's Bizzzack!!!!

2006-03-02T05:16:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's me. I'm back. You know I couldn't stay away for long. Check back soon to see what's really on my mind.

--Smoochies

Kia's Top 30 of 2006

2005-12-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

December 11, 2005...in 21 days a new year will begin. What is this new year to bring??? I’m excited to find out. I know that everything I’ll get out of this upcoming year is already in me. I just have to cultivate it and bring it out. So to ensure that everything inside of me that’s suppose to come out does, I’m going to set obtainable goals for this upcoming year. No...these are not new year’s resolutions. No one ever keeps those, so why would I even set myself up for failure. These are goals for myself. I think they are pretty reasonable, but I guess we will all see around next year this time. So here goes...

Kia’s Top 30 for 2006

For God

1. In addition to my tithes, I will give an offering and a love offering every time I go to church

2. Give Him the first day of every month

3. Begin and end each day spending time with Him

4. Bless and exhort those around me

5. Join a ministry at church and work in it faithfully

6. Write an Easter play

For Others

7. Start A Woman’s Worth program

8. Start a non-profit group for urban youth

9. Write my first book (It helps others get the most out of life)

10. Publish my back to school article (It helps others get the most out of school)

11. Volunteer once a month

12. Mentor someone

13. Plan, implement, and host the youth conference in my hometown (G-Town STAND UP!!!)

14. Completely change someone’s position in life

For Myself

15. Make $2,000 per week

16. Workout 3 days a week...I’m determined to have Janet Jackson’s body

17. Have a syndicated column

18. See a play on Broadway

19. Finish grad school

20. Write a business plan for my clothing boutique

21. Take some courses in counseling

22. Have my house fully decorated and furnished

23. Have a financial advisor (I will never again be in the financial mess that I’m in now.)

24. Read 2 non-school books per month (1 for self-improvement and 1 for entertainment)

25. Hit up the M-I-A (I’m going with or without my girls)

26. Attend a couple of conferences

27. Go to AKA regionals and stock up on ‘nalia...and buy at least one strand of pearls (the old heads in my chapter make me look bad)

28. Go on a shopping spree for me and my son where money ain’t a thang (I will have to have my financial advisor before this.)

29. Become a team mom, room mom, PTA mom or something of the sort

30. Take a vacation with just me and my son

Bonus: Go out and have more fun...my friends say I'm getting old. (Go figure!?!?!)

So there you have. Wish me luck. I'll give you guys an update on the 2nd of every month.

Another Legend Gone

2005-12-10T15:59:00.000-08:00

Richard Pryor died. another black legend gone. it seems like we're losing them left and right. but that opens the doors to a whole new generation of black legends, right??? i don't know. i want to say yes. i want to believe it does...but i'm not even sure we [the african american community] create legends anymore. we mass produce commercial carbon copies...and bad commercial carbon copies at that. well, i am determined to do better. i have to...for a shall be a legend, sooner than later.

Nigga Moments (Part 1)

2005-12-10T15:32:00.000-08:00

I jacked this off of someone's blog. I just found so much truth and insight in it that I wanted to share it with you guys...I hope you enjoy.

Webster defines the nigga moment as a moment where ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical Negro male. Causing him to act in an illogical, self destructive manor… I.E. like a Nigga!

Nigga moments are unpredictable, but they all end up bad. If they had their own category, Nigga Moments would be the 3rd leading killer of black men behind Pork Chops and F.E.M.A. It's a fact!

2005-12-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

*First*
First job: Karen's Orange Bowl--A sandwich shop in the mall. I used to hook by boyfriend and his friend up on Sundays.
First screen name: I have absolutely no idea
First funeral: my grandmother's in 4th grade. There was one before then but I didn't know her. She was a distant relative.
First pet: Dendrite, a Doberman my dad got from one of his friends from medical school. I was feeding her a chocolate cake one day and she bit my hand.
First piercing: My ear, then my belly button freshman year of college. Like 10 of us jumped on Marta for the ride to get tattoos and piercings. It was an adventure.
First tattoo: A cross with two angels holding it up. Whenever God gives you a cross to bear, He always sends angels to help you out. I got it the end of senior year.
First credit card: Capital One MasterCardFirst kiss: D'andre Green, 6th grade at General Forest Middle School. (Yes, the same General Forest from Forest Gump. Go figure!!!)
First enemy: I can't remember.

*Last*
Last car ride: Last night...home from church
Last kiss: I plead the fifth. Yes, it has been that long.Last movie watched: Romancing the Bride, an Oxygen movie. It was actually pretty good in a corny kinda way
Last beverage drank: A Sunkist
Last phone call: My baby Cameron. He's the sweetest man in the world.
Last CD played: A CD from church. Bishop Ellis from the Bahamas.
Last website visited: somebody's blogspot

*Now*
Single or taken: Single
Gender: Female
Birthday: 11/24
Sign: Sag
Siblings: A younger sister
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Brown
Shoe size: 10 (I know they're big!!!)
Height: 5'8
Wearing: Jeans and a Dare t-shirt from 5th grade!!! (Yeah, I can still wear some of my clothes from then. So what?!?!?!)
Thinking about: Doing my homework.....

Randomness

2005-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have a million things I could be doing, but I don't want to so I guess I will share my random thoughts with you.

--Coco Brother is about to change the face of hip-hop. I'm so excited. It’s bout time we see something new. I’m all bling, blinged out.

--I hope the Colts win the Super Bowl. Yes, I live in Atlanta. And yes, I have been taught to live and breathe everything Falcons, but the Colts have a black head coach...And I'm all about seeing the first black head coach take the Super Bowl. Sorry Falcons.

--I'm about to BLOW UP!!! One day soon, I'm going to be bigger than life. I don't say this out of arrogance, but out of confidence. I'm confident in my God-given ability and the plan He has for my life.

--This year is ending very quickly. I won't complain. Next year is sure to be 10 times better.

--I don't like going to the club anymore. I spent a lot of time in the club throughout college, and a lot of me not liking to go has to do with it just being old to me. Same party, same people, same music. Let's get creative promoters!!! But then this week I realized I had almost been shot 3 times while at the club. THREE TIMES!!! That's a lot for any one person to say they could have been shot, especially in only 22 years of life. You would think I was some type of gangsta girl for real with those types of statistics. Anyway, God will only give you so much grace, and I don't have too much more "avoid getting shot at the club grace" so I'm through. Sorry chicas. Y'all going to have to do it without your girl.

--God really does listen and answer all of your prayers...if your heart is right. Yes, He does operate on what appears to be CP time, but in the end it all works out for His glory. He's answered so many of my prayers in the past 3 months; I honestly can't even keep up. Just thinking about it gets me super excited and crunk. (Yes, people, God is crunk!!!)

--I can live without sex!!! I didn't think I could do it, but it's been 1 year and 4 months and I'm still going strong. I don't even have any fiendin' breakdowns anymore. Yeah, I do miss waking in the arms of man, and it's one particular guy whose bed I fell in love with (it was such a girl's bed), but overall I'm good. And trust me, if I can do, you can do it to. Because in the words of Coco, "I know what it's like to be addicted to that thang, thang."

--Horniness is a mental thing. Yeah, I know about the hormones and natural biological urges that get you all up and going. But you mind overrides all that. I mean for real, when you think about the booty, you start to want the booty. How often have you wanted the booty without thinking about the booty or thinking about how long it had been since you had the booty? That's why as much as I love Jamie Foxx's new song, "Unpredictable," I shall rebuke it. It gets my mind going and makes me want the booty. Dag-gone-it Jamie Foxx. Dag-gone-it!!! But time the right negro gets his mind right and decides that he’s ready…it’s going to be unpredictable 24/7…because that’s how I do when I’m doing the do.

--I'm country as hell, but you gotta love me.

--Ray J, as much as I hate to admit it, is funny as all get out on One on One. I mean for real, the negro's not going anywhere, so you might as well love him for what he's good at.

--I believe I'm the only AKA in the WORLD who does not own a strand of pearls. I'm embarrassed to even say that. But I just never bought any. I do have real, must I repeat, REAL pearl earrings. Does that redeem me any?

--No matter where you're from or how much you love your hometown, 2+ years in the A will make it your heart. Yeah, you may leave, and maybe you could never see yourself living here, but no one can deny that the ATL is the truth!!! Rich with culture, history, and the hopes of the future. It's the Black Mecca, the Clubbin' Capital, the Home of Southern Hip Hop, and the place where the Black Bourgeois resides...You can find it all down here in the A!!! You know you love it!!! Just admit it!!!

--"The Boys"...They were off the chain. Especially to be youngsters (they had just turned 20!!!). Not only were they cute, but they were really cool people to chill with. Me and my girls changed their perception about Spelman girls (okay, 2 of the 3 of us did. The other one just reaffirmed every stereotypical thing they had ever heard), but we tend to do that with most of the guys we come in contact with. I can't wait to hang out with them again. Thanks David & Buster's...and Stella!!! If you wouldn't have been trying to make sure you still had your groove, we might have missed out!!!

Ok, I could really go on for days, but I'll spare you and finish up this grant proposal that I should have done a week ago. Love you guys and gals. Smooches!!!

I Want a Guy Who...

2005-12-05T17:08:00.000-08:00

1) calls me beautiful instead of hot.
2) calls me back when I hang up on him.
3) will stay awake just to watch me sleep.
4) kisses my forehead.
5) wants to show me off to the world when I'm in my sweats.
6) holds my hand in front of his friends.
7) is constantly reminding me of how much he cares about me and how lucky he is to have me.
8) turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

You Know Your Living in 2005 When

2005-12-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends ...you know you want to!

Watch

2005-12-01T11:25:00.000-08:00

Watch your Thoughts, they become words
Watch your Words, they become actions
Watch your Actions, they become habits
Watch your Habits, they become character
Watch your Character, for it becomes your Destiny

Oprah for President

2005-11-22T13:29:00.000-08:00

I'm watching Oprah right now, and Gwyneth Paltrow just said she wished Oprah would run for president, because she would vote for her. LOL!!! Can you a imagine a Hillary Clinton and Oprah Winfrey ticket. They would so have my vote. (Yeah, that was my valley girl coming out.) What about yours?

You Know You're a Victim of Black Hair Care If...

2005-11-20T18:34:00.000-08:00

Something else I stole from facebook. Shouts out to my sisters who have spent all day in the beauty salon only to walk out pissed and looking a mess.YOU know you've been ViCTIM of Black Hair care if...
1. You stayed in the salon for 5 or more HOURS!!!! 2 of which was under the da** dryer!
2. You got someone to do your perm (from the box) (Soft-n-beautiful, dark-n-lovely, just-4-me, etc.) because you couldn’t get an appointment in time.
3. You beat your head like you retarded ‘cause you waiting for a perm and don’t wanna scratch…
4. In 1996 you used gel (and a toothbrush) to revive your “baby hair” (some don’t think that’s funny cuz they STILL DO IT!)
5. You let your mama, cousin, or somebody cut your bang and it wasn’t str8 so you had to wear the swoop….
6. Or better yet you WORE THE SWOOP…every BLACK girl THOUGHT she was Aaliyah didn’t they??? The lil’ piece in her eye….
7. You wore the infamous twists in the front and down in the black hair style…
8. you LEARNED HOW TO DO the infamous twists in the front and down in the back style…
9.You secretly wished your hair was like the woman on the box.
10. When your hair broke off…you told everyone… “I cut it!”
11. Your beautician said they were gonna cut your split ends and your hair went from down your back to a bob…
12. Your pulled them two pieces of RANDOM hair from the side or center of your head and let them hang over in your face…DON’T FRONT YA’LL KNOW YA’LL DID IT!
13. Every summer your mama got your hair braided ‘cause you were gonna go swimming…and she didn’t wanna have to DO THAT NAPPY HEAD! That’s why…
14. You did your OWN hair and just KNEW it was cute…until you flipped thru some photo albums 5 years later and wondered WHAT WAS I THINKIN’!
15. You put a gel and/or water mixture in your hair to hold you over until you got it done…
16. When you were little you used to take your braids/ponytails down and try to wear your hair “loose”…
17. You even re-styled it with them lil’ black combs they gave you on picture day…and got BEAT for it when the proofs came back…
18. You wore beads THE WHITE ONES and then GOT HYPE when the colors came out! Looking like SERENA and VENUS…wit da foil on the ends…before u could get the rubberbands!
19. When Brandy came out BRAIDS was the THANG! You even switched ‘em up…
20. The beauty supply store or the beauty salon are the ONLY two places it is ok to go in LOOKIN A MESS…ya’ll know ya’ll seen (or BEEN) the girl with the hat on and when she pull it off as she sits in the chair she looking like O MY GOD!!!
21. You were burned if u didnt HOLD DOWN THAT EAR! when u got your hair "pressed"...
22. You KNOW what a vigaro..or hot oil treatment is...
23. You LOVE when your beautician SCRATCHES your head while they washin it...
24. you experimented with hair color...
25. you experimented with HAIR DO's
26. BAPS was the inspiration for your PROM up-do...
27.There are many more reasons but lastly, YOU KNOW you are victim of Black hair care if you LAUGHED at most ALL of these…and now wanna pass it along to another victim so they can agree to be NAPPY but HAPPY, STRONGLY BELIEVE in WEAVE, CONFIRM u need a PERM, or SWELL to have GEL…with u…. ;-)

Thanks Mad. C.J. Walker….we’d BE LOST without ya….